Me and my ex were very incompatible. In religion it was most noticable, he was extremely religious as a catholic, and I am an atheist. As an atheist, I have always been understanding, supportive, and willing to compromise when it comes to other religions. But for him, he always tries to preach to me. I never forced my beliefs, but he kept forcing his to me. He said that I just don't trust him enough that's why I'm not converting. He said he'd rather have someone with the same beliefs and he will leave me if I don't change (he told me he accepts me despite my religion before we even started dating). Why the sudden change of heart?
In our relationship it was always in his terms. We broke up because he thought it was impossible for us to be together because of our incompatibilities. He didn't even try to fight for our love. Every fight, every decision, I've been so understanding but he never listened to my opinion. He kept saying he was right and that he spoke facts. He kept repeating I was wrong.
I don't understand how someone that said they loved me since the start could be so inconsiderate. But somehow despite all the red flags, I still miss him. He was the one that left me but I'm the one that wishes to break NC and would run back to him if given the chance.
Last updated on:2026-10-16T19:10:05+05:30
Comments (6)
feel like part of you is still waiting for him to choose you and fight for the relationship the way you would've fought for him. do you miss who he really was with you, or do you miss the person you hoped he'd become?
Unfortunately, I miss the past him and the person I hoped he'd become.. which are two people that are gone/don't exist.
i still missed my ex even after realizing how unfair he was to me.
i hate how you kept making room for his beliefs while he kept asking you to change yours. i've been in a relationship where every disagreement somehow ended with me being the one who was wrong, and damn, it took me so long to realize how much of myself i was shrinking to keep us together
I might be able to offer a Catholic perspective here. I am Catholic and I was with my ex for 5 years, 4 of which she was not Catholic or explicitly religious. In Catholicism our belief shapes everything from how we love others, our family life, and especially marriage and dating.
I dont know how serious you both were but at least for Catholics most relationships we enter are considered oriented to marriage and courtship. So maybe as you both advanced in your relationship and became more serious, the matter of faith began to become apparent. A major stigma in the church is shared faith, the concept of being equally yoked. This leads alot of Catholics being told they have to be with someone of shared or same faith, when that isn't the case at all. An atheist and a Catholic can work together very well in a relationship and marriage even if it isn't the accepted norm.
In regards to preaching to you, inherently Catholics and most Christians are called to evangelize and try to convert people. HOWEVER, there is a huge difference in talking about your faith in a loving way than attempting to guilt, manufacture, or pressure someone into a conversion. Him saying that you dont trust him enough to convert is pressure and wrong of him. We teach humility, charity, patience, and respect for all humans, so him taking this dismissive "my truth supersedes yours" approach isnt grounded in our faith whatsoever. We are called to speak the truth in LOVE, not use it as a weapon to win disagreements.
Circling back to my relationship with my ex. I thought it was important to mention I never preached to her. I gave her time to discover it herself, and if she had questions I helped answer them as much as I could, but I didnt force it upon her. That is the approach he should have taken. Patience, love, and understanding of your partner is what yields the most fruit in a relationship.
I hope this helps, im sorry you are going through this right now. Its ok to miss that person despite being hurt by them. My ex broke up over the phone after 5 years of saying I was her soulmate. You arent going to learn how to stop missing them any time soon. Just keep going one day at a time and trust in the process and path you are on.
Thanks for the perspective, I really have been so understanding of his views and beliefs especially since all of my friends and family are also Catholics. I've gotten used to being dismissed and disrespected as an atheist, so maybe that's why I never noticed how much I was treated unfairly.