Walking away from someone you still love is the hardest thing I've ever done. My ex is a good person but our foundational needs were completely incompatible. We built a home and a life together but the relationship slowly eroded me.
She wanted to explore non-monogamy and physical relationships with other women while keeping me as her primary partner. I tried so hard to force myself to accept an arrangement that went against how I experience intimacy turning myself into an anxious resentful person in the process. The final straw came when she tried to break a simple boundary about staying home with our animals while I was away. I realized I was tired of waiting to be chosen so I ended it even as she begged me to stay.
I know I left for the right reasons. I didn't want a small world on the side when she was my entire world. But right now the grief is suffocating. I know I'm going to miss our home our pets and her touch and that I'll question if the pain of leaving was worth it.
How do you stay gone when you still love them? How do you stop running back when the unbearable grief tells you to go home?
Last updated on:2026-10-22T04:04:11+05:30
Comments (3)
i left someone i still loved because i was slowly losing myself trying to make their version of love work for me. missing the home, the little routines, even the smallest things like their touch can make you question EVERYTHING.
stay gone was remembering how lonely i felt while i was still in the relationship. whenever i wanted to go back, i had to remind myself why i left in the first place.
i hear how much you still love her, and i'm curious, when you imagine going back, do you miss the relationship you actually had, or the home and future you kept hoping you could have together