Why did i fall for a narcissist? my story of heartbreak

It’s been 15 months and 17 days since he left me.

He was the one who wanted me first. He wasn’t even my type; I hated his voice, too. But over the years, he tried so hard to impress me that I eventually gave him a chance. I started developing feelings for him, although I never told him that.

After a while, he contacted me again and asked to meet up. I agreed, and we had a really nice date. That was when I realized I genuinely liked him. Then he told me he was planning to marry me once he graduated from college. I was shocked and initially refused, but he kept insisting until I finally agreed.

We dated for a year and a half. I made an effort, too. I started spending more money on outfits and things I didn’t even like because he wanted his girl to look chic, even though I wasn’t wealthy.

I drew a portrait of him once and even knitted him a scarf. I bought him candy every week because he loved it. I bought so many clothes for our honeymoon, and they’re still sitting there, unused.

He told me we’d get married as soon as I finished college. That meant waiting another year, but I agreed. Then he changed his mind again and said we both needed to find jobs first, just in case. And again, I agreed.

But once he graduated, he told me he’d lost interest in marriage and thought our relationship was heading in the wrong direction. His reason? During the previous few months, we’d started masturbating together over text. We never exchanged nudes, though.

I was shocked because he told me all this right after we’d done it for the last time. He suddenly started acting like he was some man of God who would never do such a thing.

Honestly, I sometimes think he used me to get off while he was stressed about his studies. That son of a bitch.

Anyway, I told him fine, and I cried for weeks.

Then he came back, asking how I was doing. My dumbass thought he was being genuine this time because he said he missed me and felt bad about the breakup. He even told me he was getting erections. And because I still loved him so much, did I say yes when he wanted to get back into it?

Hell fucking yes.

And then he left me again, right after.

This happened multiple times. Every time, he came back with a different excuse.

“I’m just checking on you.”

“How are your exams going?”

“Are you happy now?”

But somehow, the conversation always ended up turning sexual.

I genuinely don’t know what the fuck was going through that man’s head. But I loved him so much. You can blame me if you want, but every single time he came back, I believed he genuinely wanted to fix things.

I cut my hair off. I started smoking. I did so many things I regret.

And throughout our relationship, I never got involved with anyone else. I didn’t even have male friends. Meanwhile, he was buying other girls coffee while we were dating, and he never told me about it. I only found out when one of those girls confessed.

by the way He really cares about his social picture someone sent me a pic of him with a sound of the song " somone that I used to know " as if I was a bitch and ruined his life.

he still texting me at least once a month , during october he reached out 3 times I never replayed the last two times because I always consider all those things but once he talk , that narcissist , he makes me beleive he was geniune and always wanted the best for me.

And now, 15 months and 17 days later, I’m still here, trying to make sense of everything that happened, while he gets to carry on with his life as if he never broke mine.

Last updated on:2026-10-25T13:17:12+05:30