my first relationship ended almost a year ago it lasted about six months. i know i made mistakes. i was curious about sexual stuff but also felt pressured and i talked to my friends about it even shared things about my partner that i shouldn’t have. i told him about those conversations and it hurt him i apologized but repeated it once before finally stopping
sometimes i’d swear without thinking and apologize after. toward the last couple months he started feeling distant to me. when i tried to talk about it he brushed it off and once when i asked to have a serious talk he responded like there was nothing to discuss which hurt
it was also our university exam year so i was stressed and couldn’t balance everything. our communication turned anxious and avoidant. i told him i felt lonely in the relationship he said i was exaggerating and we argued. during that fight something in me broke. he said he loved me and didn’t want to break up but i couldn’t say it back in that moment
a few days later i told him i didn’t want to meet until after exams without asking how he felt and that was unfair. the same day he asked if i loved him i said no then laughed and took it back but i was really confused and hurting. i didn’t understand why i was reacting like that
he admitted he had also been thinking about breaking up and i just said we should end it without really talking it through. later i reached out and explained i was acting from hurt because before that fight i felt like i communicated well. he blamed me for a lot then softened when we talked about fixing things. in the end he said it wouldn’t work right now and suggested taking a three-month break before trying again
Last updated on:2026-04-22T00:13:02+05:30
Comments (4)
do you actually want him back as he was at the end, or are you holding onto how it felt before everything started breaking?
i get the guilt but don’t carry ALL of it, he pulled away and shut down too.
i messed up in my first relationship too and kept replaying every little thing i said wrong. i remember saying stuff out of hurt and then hating myself after, like why did i do that. you weren’t crazy, you were overwhelmed and trying to hold on at the same time
You weren’t “bad,” you were overwhelmed and learning your first relationship in real time. Guilt just means you care....take the lesson, forgive yourself, and grow.