Why am i so confused after my ex texted me?

yesterday marked two weeks since we broke up. it was a really long and a really hard day but i made it. around 8pm he texted me. he said he had written me a really long note and that he wanted to send it to me but he knows i told him not to contact me so he wanted to ask first before sending it. i told him to let me read it. he sent me a notes app link to a very long letter pretty much saying he wants me back. he said that he hasn’t left his bed and he hasn’t been able to eat or sleep and he’s done nothing but regret his decision since the second he did it but i said i needed space and he felt like he didn’t deserve to talk to me so he’s just been in pain in silence. he said he very quickly realized that this isn’t what he wants or needs (he broke up with me because he felt like he couldn’t handle being in a relationship anymore/didnt want to be because of his mental health) and that he has felt infinitely worse than he did before and couldn’t stand not talking to me. we ended up texting for almost five hours (he asked to call me and i said no) and i asked him every question i’ve wondered since we ended. i dont know what i’m going to do. i obviously still love him and it was amazing to hear that he still loves me but i have no way of knowing he isn’t going to change his mind on me again. this morning i woke up and he hadnt texted me and that kinda hurt. i knew he was sleeping but i felt like if he wants me back so bad he should be spamming me, lol. i dont know where to go from here because i am still so hurt. both of us have said we wish we could just rewind and never have done any of this, but we can’t. it happened and i know i won’t be able to forget it. i just have to decide whether i can trust him enough to move on from it. i feel very lost and confused and i also can’t stop checking to see if he’s texted me. i don’t want to be that girl anymore, and i haven’t been for the past two weeks. i’ve lived for myself and not for him. i dont want to lose the strength i’ve gained from this experience, whether i take him back or not. i love him and i know that i want to be with him but i dont know how to believe that he wants to be with me. he’s told me to take as much time as i need but that he couldn’t physically hold this in any longer and the idea of me moving on without him ever telling me he wants me back killed him. he seems genuine and he sounds like the man i’ve missed so dearly, so who was that who broke my heart? he was so cold to me like he had never been before. how does he keep changing so fast? i guess only time will give me the answers i need but i am stuck feeling uneasy. he was extremely apologetic last night and kept telling me the things he loves the most and have missed the most about me. those were really nice to hear. he hasn’t been so romantic towards me in so long. i dont know what to do. i know that i want him but i also need to have respect for myself. any advice would be helpful, but i really just needed to vent. thanks for reading, wish me luck. :’)

Last updated on:2026-05-09T22:30:07+05:30