I decided I needed to take space from one of my closest friends and the whole community him and my ex are a part of because he was insisting on not just inviting my ex to his party but also planning it with her.
It appears that as a result the party was delayed. It was supposed to be about a month ago but I accidentally stumbled upon an invitation to the party for the first weekend in June. I'm so glad I went no contact. I am in such a better place than I was, but this is still really hurting. I also feel some shame about how I acted. I think the decisions I made were sound but the way I went about it was not great.
So all those feelings are coming up and I wonder if there's any going back to those people or if that chapter with them is just over. As I was leaving I cared less about what bridges I was burning because they weren't caring for me in ways I needed anyway.
Would I even want to go back? I don't know... but I do know reading that invite was painful and it's stirring the old wounds around belonging and being chosen.
Last updated on:2026-05-31T12:21:19+05:30
Comments (6)
before all of this happened, did that friend ever make you feel genuinely supported after the breakup, or were you already feeling pushed aside long before the party situation came up
There were a lot of ways I felt genuinely supported but also moments where them trying to be everyone's friends left me feeling hurt and dismissed. I may also have a different definition of what it means to be a loyal friend. Though I also feel and they even admitted to times of acting hypocritically. I still struggle to feel fully clear... What I do know is continuing to stay close to them while they were trying to maintain closeness with the people that had hurt me, whome they agreed treated me unkindly was bad for my mental health.
i was doing better after i left, even when i felt guilty about how it happened. sometimes the shame keeps us looking backward harder than the actual people do.
Yeah. I definitely think that can be true. Especially when they lost less
i had to step away from a whole friend group after my breakup too, and seeing them carry on without me reopened wounds i thought were finally closing. that pain around belonging and being chosen is SO real
thanks! it's a really big one for me for sure. I'm really sorry that happened to you too. I hope you find some really solid friends that actually show up for you in the ways you need