I want to start this off by saying that my ex partner is a really great person. I hold zero resentment for them and cherish the memories we had before we broke up. I got so dependent on her emotionally that I sacrificed a lot of myself and my boundaries out of fear that she would leave and that pushed her away.
she has told me directly that she still wants to be best friends and hopes that we can foster a relationship in the future, one built on a much stronger foundation. I just afraid right now, because I feel like I have grown quite a bit since we broke up, learning to resist the urges and stop seeking reassurance. I’m afraid that when we check in soon I might be overwhelmed with those fears of losing her again. I really really want something with her, as a friend or hopefully a stronger relationship. But idk how much time I need to become independent. I’m currently thinking of waiting for her to reach out and trying to see how I feel as we talk. is this a good idea? I could use and external opinion.
Last updated on:2026-05-30T17:43:12+05:30
Comments (6)
if she told you tomorrow that she only ever wanted friendship and nothing romantic again, do you think you'd still be excited to rebuild that connection with her?
I think I would. I honestly can’t know for sure but I have never been closer to someone in my life. I miss all the silly things we did together as friends even before we started dating. it would hurt and I think I would need more time to grieve but I would still want to be friends and happy we were
if the goal is to be friends, you need to be ok seeing her with another person. If the thought still hurts, you are not ready. Don't try and create a friendship just because you miss the person, youll only hurt yourself. Theres nothing wrong with being friends, you just need to be fully healed
Ofcourse the thought hurts me but, I would be okay. I want her to be happy and if that’s its form I will be okay. I’m not pursuing this because I miss them, although that is a big part. it’s because they are too important to me to not have in my life in some capacity. plus they told me they felt similar right now, they directly told me the thought of me dating someone else made them sick. They told me to work on myself and that getting back together was an achievable goal and to have faith in us. If that happens I will be so happy, but if it doesn’t I will move and be okay knowing Im stronger for it
I would honestly wait for her to reach out. I’m in a pretty similar boat to you right now, and I had a very healthy breakup on the premise of getting back together in the future after we learn and grow but at the end of the day if they broke up with you, it’s up to their decisions and their actions following the breakup and if you send a text and come off like you’re chasing it, it’s just gonna make things worse
you’re very right I’m happy I had the strength to tell her I needed some space and time so I don’t repeat those old habits. I’m holding myself to it and really trying to resist the urges. Thank you so much.