after a really painful heartbreak i finally felt ready to put myself out there again. i met a guy on js and from the very beginning we were both very clear that we were looking for marriage only. for an entire month he seemed so genuine. he constantly talked about his family his home his mom and made me feel included in his life. honestly he convinced me he was serious husband material.
eventually we decided to meet in person because everything felt aligned. the meetup itself went fine but the second he got back home something completely changed. his energy shifted overnight and he became distant out of nowhere.
then i checked his instagram and saw he had suddenly started following a bunch of random provocative girls who looked straight out of dating apps. when i confronted him about the distance he admitted he “missed his ex.”
that completely blindsided me because before meeting him i had directly asked if he was truly over her. that’s one of my biggest dealbreakers. his explanation was basically that he thought he was over her until he met me and somehow meeting me made him start missing her again because he was “depressed.”
that crushed my self esteem honestly. i immediately started wondering what was wrong with me and why i suddenly wasn’t enough. i told him we should stop talking but then he flipped things around and started guilt tripping me acting heartbroken and saying things like “why are you leaving me now?”
because i genuinely liked him i stayed. not once but multiple times. every time i tried to walk away he’d pull me back in with just enough attention to keep me emotionally attached but never enough effort or consistency to actually build something real.
eventually i had to accept that all his talk about marriage and commitment meant absolutely nothing because his actions never matched his words. yesterday i finally hit my limit told him i was tired of receiving breadcrumbs and blocked him.
i feel stupid for trusting him so quickly. it really messes with your head when someone says all the right things just to leave you questioning your own worth afterward. i’m trying hard not to blame myself for someone else’s emotional immaturity.
Last updated on:2026-05-22T10:01:26+05:30
Comments (4)
going through it myself
i think blocking him was the first real loving thing you did for yourself in this whole situation. breadcrumbing will keep you emotionally starving while convincing you there’s still hope
i’ve been through that exact whiplash where someone talks future plans, family, marriage, all of it, then suddenly turns cold like none of it was real. i blamed myself for MONTHS before realizing he just liked the comfort of being wanted.
was there a moment deep down where you already knew his words and actions weren’t matching, but you wanted so badly for it to be real that you pushed the feeling aside?