we were together for 14 months and he was my first love. near the end our relationship became really unstable. we kept breaking up and getting back together trust was falling apart every conversation turned into an argument and both of us were emotionally exhausted all the time.
during all of that i started talking to another guy. at first it just felt exciting and distracting like an escape from everything that was hurting. but slowly i became attached to the idea of starting over with someone new instead of dealing with the pain in front of me.
when i finally ended things with my ex i handled it horribly.
instead of being honest about how overwhelmed and confused i was i turned cold and cruel. i told him things like “i lost feelings i was waiting for you to break up with me” and “i already have a crush on someone else.” i even showed him screenshots of conversations with the new guy. when he reacted angrily and said i disgusted him i lashed out and made a horrible comment about his family too.
looking back now i hate the way i handled everything. i crossed so many lines and gave him every reason to see me in the worst possible light.
after the breakup i dated the new guy for around two months. but over time i realized i didn’t actually feel deeply connected to him at all. eventually i started feeling emotionally distant and overwhelmed there too. that’s when it finally hit me that i never really processed the breakup with my ex. i think i used the new relationship as a way to escape the pain and chaos instead of facing it.
about a month after ending things with the rebound guy i reached out to my ex. i apologized sincerely and told him i regretted everything.
his response honestly messed me up even more because he wasn’t cruel to me at all.
he told me calmly that i used a crush as a shortcut instead of actually healing and that unless both people work on themselves individually the same unhealthy cycle would just repeat again. he also admitted that the way i handled things made him question his self worth.
and hearing that broke me.
after everything i did to him he still responded thoughtfully instead of trying to humiliate me back. but when i begged him to give me another chance while i fix myself he left me on seen.
now i keep replaying everything over and over in my head. part of me feels like i ruined the best thing i ever had because i was immature avoidant emotionally reactive and too scared to be honest.
i know most people would probably tell me to let go because trust is broken now and honestly i understand why he’d think if i did it once i could do it again.
but the truth is i still love him deeply.
i guess i’m posting because i genuinely don’t know what to make of his response.
does the fact that he answered calmly mean he still cares?
does it sound like there’s forgiveness there somewhere or just acceptance?
Last updated on:2026-05-28T21:39:11+05:30
Comments (3)
i’ve been the person who jumped into something new before i actually dealt with the grief from the old relationship, and when it finally hit me what i’d done, the guilt was BRUTAL. the fact he answered calmly after all that does tell me he still cared, people who feel nothing usually don’t respond with that much thought
i really respect that you’re actually owning your part instead of pretending the rebound meant nothing. what helped me after i hurt someone was stopping trying to “win her back” and proving through distance and consistency that i was actually changing, not just panicking because i lost her
before things got toxic near the end, did he usually try to work through problems with you or was he emotionally checked out too by then?