i broke no contact with my ex after about five months and we started talking again in january. honestly things felt so good between us that i truly believed we were finding our way back to each other. we said “i love you” every night on the phone he helped take care of my basic needs made plans with me for the future and treated me like we were basically together again.
then everything shattered.
he’s coming back to our hometown tomorrow and casually told me he’s been seeing a girl who recently moved into his building. at first i didn’t panic because i trusted what we had. but then on monday i asked if he could pay my amex bill and he replied “i can’t there are other eyes on my phone.” i didn’t even understand what he meant at first.
then he told me he plans to ask her to be his girlfriend when he comes back home.
i felt physically sick hearing that. this is someone who was telling me he loved me every night while building a whole new relationship behind my back. he said he wanted to tell me in person but honestly it just feels like betrayal and future faking all over again.
he’s known this girl for three weeks. three weeks.
and here i am barely functioning. i haven’t eaten properly in days. even basic things like showering or brushing my teeth feel exhausting. i don’t want to see friends i don’t want to talk to anyone. i feel so stupid for believing him again.
i keep asking myself what i’m doing wrong. i want love so badly. i want marriage a family a son and a daughter someday. but every time i trust someone they end up using my kindness against me and making me feel disposable.
right now my heart just feels completely broken.
Last updated on:2026-05-29T23:20:52+05:30
Comments (6)
I know it’s hard. I’ve been going through a similar thing when it comes to “seeing eachother again after the breakup”. what your feeling is completely fair. what he did is a betrayal and you have every right to be angry/upset. Its going to be really difficult but letting him realise, after however long, that he’s made a terrible mistake is better than sticking it out, messaging him and getting hurt all over again. I hope your doing okay and please remember to look after yourself x
i’ve been through the whole “we’re basically together again” thing too, hearing i love you every night while they’re already building something with someone else
You deserve so much more than this. I’m sending you positive thoughts and strength because you will have to go through a hard time but you will make it to the other side, I know you will. Keep moving forward and sit in the discomfort when it happens
Hey.
As you're reading this, do me a favor. Say out loud: 5 things you can see. 4 things you can touch.3 things you can hear. 2 things you can smell.1 thing you can taste. I hope that helps you calm down just a bit to read the next part of this message. You are not stupid, nor are you doing anything wrong. Placing your trust in someone is not the thing that gets categorized as stupid: it's HIS decision to abuse that trust which is stupid. It's a waste of a loyal person who genuinely feels for him who clearly would live a happy life with him if given the chance. That's his loss just as much as it is a loss for you. Now, a little helpful tip on my end as a chronically depressed person who struggles to complete self-care tasks: break things up into as tiny of pieces as possible. "I am going to sit up. Okay, now I'm walking to the bathroom. Okay, I'm grabbing my toothbrush and toothpaste. Okay, now I am putting the toothpaste on the toothbrush. Now I am putting a little more water on the toothbrush. Now I am putting the toothbrush in my mouth. I am brushing my left molars. now my left premolars. left canines, front incisors, right canines, right premolars, and right molars. Now I am spitting out the toothpaste. Now I am rinsing out my mouth. Finally, now I am turning off the water." Lots of tasks that go into something as simple as brushing your teeth, and you'll get a tiny spike of dopamine every time you anticipate completing one of them. I hope it helps. Just one last piece of a tidbit here: You are worthy of love. Just wanted to say that. Hope you feel better.
three weeks?? and meanwhile he still had you emotionally invested and planning a future with him.
before he told you about this girl, were there moments where his energy started shifting and you ignored it because you wanted the relationship back so badly?