i'm having a problem with my girlfriend and honestly i'm not sure how to handle it anymore.
in the past i had a habit of getting angry over small things and because of that our relationship went through several breakups. most of the time i was the one who suggested ending things. before our most recent reconciliation she told me that even though she still loved me she didn't want to come back because she wanted to choose herself and protect her peace of mind.
when we got back together i promised myself i would be more mature stop overreacting and stop walking away every time there was a problem.
the issue i'm struggling with now is that she says she no longer feels the need to constantly update me about what she's doing or where she's going. she told me it makes her feel like her life revolves around reporting everything to me and she doesn't want that anymore. i've tried explaining how i feel but her position hasn't changed.
for example we'll be having a normal conversation and then she'll disappear for 30 minutes or even an hour without saying anything. i completely understand that people get busy and i don't expect her to be available all the time. i guess what bothers me is not knowing what's going on. even a quick heads-up would help me understand.
because of this i've noticed that i've become very emotionally attached to her. my mood often depends on how she's acting or whether she's responding and i don't like feeling that way.
how do i deal with this in a healthy way? how can i stop being so emotionally dependent on her? and is there anything i can do to make our relationship stronger without making her feel pressured?
Last updated on:2026-06-01T22:14:12+05:30
Comments (7)
Stop proving to her that you love her, she knows that already. So just force yourself to do the same thing she's doing
Sounds like you have trust issues. If someone stops texting for 1-3 hours, it’s safe to assume they are busy. Simply wait for them to reply and explain the delay.
if you're always threatening to end things, then she won't feel the need to trust or support you, hence the behaviour now. Probably looking for the next, sorry
it sounds like you need some time to get your emotions in check so you dont continue to spiral out of control. I did the same thing and I pushed her into another guys arms.
for me, I realized that my partner was losing interest in me because he stopped responding to me the way he used to. previously he would update me about every little thing in his life or his day but eventually that stopped.
the crazy thing is, in the beginning of our relationship we would spend the whole day talking to each other and then at the end I could feel him pulling away from me just based off of how much he would text me back. I already knew things were over by the beginning of March. he maintains that his life was also important and that they were other people around him that he had to focus on too. this was bullshit of course, he knew exactly what he was doing. i wish he was honest with me about why he was pulling away...my theory is he wasn't ready to be the partner that i needed at the time (i was sitting for the bar) because he was too focused on himself and his friends (he looks to them for validation a lot and doesn't sneeze unless someone from his friend group instructs him too, it's a very much that thing)
my ex did the same thing. eventually I was too much to handle. Just realised I gave so much love to someone who cannot accept it. I wish I left that train on the time. Not 2 years after.