Will i ever stop loving him? my heartbreak journey

Sorry in advance for the long post.

My (now ex) and I started dating at the end of our freshman year of high school and we dated a little over 3 years. He was my first love, my first kiss, my first everything. I know it’s stupid but I really thought we were going to get married.

For a little context, he worked full time this year and was away a lot. When he was away, he wasn’t able to talk to me very much and it was really difficult for both of us. It gave me a lot of anxiety and stress and made me upset, but he did the best that he could.
He then found out that he was going to be away for the whole summer. We’re both headed to college in the fall, and I’m going to be abroad for my first semester, so in total it would have been about 6 months before we see each other in person again.
When I’m back in the country, we’ll be at universities that are really close to each other. However, as we’re both pursuing engineering degrees, we’ll be extremely busy and not have much free time.

So, 10 days ago, he came over to talk to me and he said that he felt like it was best that we end our relationship now. It was super hard for both of us. We both cried (I had never seen him cry before this) and we hugged and it was very emotional. He feels like he won’t be able to give me the time I deserve next year, and he doesn’t want to keep hurting me (his words exactly). He said that he wants me to be able to just enjoy myself next year without worrying about him and stressing when he can’t talk to me. He also told me that he felt like he was becoming a worse and worse boyfriend as he became more and more involved at his job. He felt it was best to end our relationship now, on good terms, rather than build up resentment and end on bad terms.
I do honestly agree that this was the best decision we could have made, even though it was heartbreaking. We agreed to stay friends, but I decided that for now it’s best if we’re no contact, at least until it isn’t as raw. I figure that once I stop having the constant urge to text him, then it’s probably okay to text him again.
We still follow each other on social media. I know that isn’t necessarily the best thing, but I really just can’t bring myself to unfollow or block him, even temporarily.

It’s just extremely difficult. We went through high school together. We essentially grew up together, and we have a ton of mutual friends. We had envisioned our future so many times and I truly loved him. He was my best friend.

Luckily, however, we made sure that throughout our relationship we never neglected our friends, and we did have our own lives apart from each other. Since we broke up, I’ve been continuing to work, volunteer, go to the gym, and see my friends. Even though I feel happy sometimes, there’s just a constant underlying sadness that I can’t push away.

I know it hasn’t been very long and things will get better with time, but will I ever stop loving him? And, is there anything I’m doing wrong or anything else I could do to make myself feel better? Thanks and sorry again for the long post.

Last updated on:2026-06-29T01:54:11+05:30