i’m only on 7 days NC and the most i’ve been able to do is 2 weeks. i’m honestly struggling in most areas of my life- I just started a new job and have a hard time focusing and not crying. I have frequent moments of anxiety and where my heart randomly starts racing. I get triggered by things and it’s hard for me to hold it together sometimes. he completely destroyed my nervous system yet I miss him so much. the last thing he told me after I said I couldn’t work towards getting back together was to never reach out to him again and he f***ing hated me :( he normally blocks me on everything but hasn’t this time so I feel so weird about that and find myself frequently checking if i’m blocked :( he has also had his phone on DND literally since the last time we have spoken which is not normal. I’m worried I am delaying my healing by checking that kind of stuff but I can’t stop it and just want to feel like myself again :(
Last updated on:2026-07-11T05:04:58+05:30
Comments (12)
whether i was blocked like it would somehow tell me how he felt. every tiny change became a clue in my head. those first couple weeks were absolute HELL 💔
yes literally! i’m constantly checking :(
starting a new job while your heart is doing this is so much to carry.
yes it really is, thank you! and it’s like i don’t want to talk to my coworkers about it because I don’t know them like that and ugh
was the relationship already making you feel anxious before the breakup, or did all of this start after he left?
it was already making me feel anxious… there was definitely emotional abuse and control so i was so anxious all the time :/
also well done on 7 days. that's huge!
thank you so so much. honestly when i’ve wanted to text him i just remember he asked me not to and that i want to be respectful of what he said, even if he doesn’t mean it
I know its hard but maybe you should block him so you don't keep checking? Startling a new job is a great distraction. when im at work and I feel the urge to cry, I feel myself that I can cry as soon as I finish and distract myself. as soon as I get in my car at the end if the day, I cry my heart out and then go home.
I thought about that but I feel guilty and have a hard time blocking anyone.. I can’t bring myself to do it. and that’s what i’m gonna start doing because I have a hard time forcing myself to hold it together and have cried in the bathroom :/
@CoolBreeze388 blocking people is hard. My ex has a heart condition, so the thought of blocking him and something happening stresses me out.
@FrostJet725 yeah I can totally understand that. mine doesn’t have anything like that but idk i know i shouldn’t after what he said but i want him to still have the ability to reach me if he needed or something happens but i still care for him and always will