I broke with this guy I really loved and still love. we ended last Christmas. I didn't have doubt during the relationship or even when he became distant. he would constantly go MIA and I'd wait for him to come back until one day it lasted a month. I waited and then it turned into 3 months. I felt terribleso i spoke to my friends about it and they all made me doubt him.(interracial couple btw)he was in hottub with girls I'd never met( and looked nothing like) and going to parties knowing all his ex would be there and he wasn't reply to my texts.i cried during the holidays. I lost alot during that period as well. I stopped doing ballet cause it became inconvenient. I was struggling academically and career wise. though I had him then but eventually I eneded it cause I had come to belive he wasn't being faithful or that he doesn't want someone like me to be his girlfriend. this year alone my best friend and I eneded our friendship. I've changed friendship groups twice and now I have people around me I'm too afraid to open up to cause I've lost so much. I feel like a former shell of myself and the most important things and aspect of my life have all gone astray. i don't know what to do, who to talk to, why this is happening or what i should do with this loneliness and isolation. I'm losing track of time and recently had dream about him.( not a good one btw) it was almost like a sign not to wait, a sign to give up on the concept of romance with him. I'm holding on by a thread at this point. I really can't keep pretending like he's not the best that's ever happened to me or that life's great without him.
Last updated on:2026-07-19T03:30:11+05:30
Comments (5)
i’ve learned that when someone leaves you feeling like you have to chase their love, it slowly takes away the parts of you that made you feel like yourself. i started finding my way back by doing the little things i abandoned.
i keep thinking about what you said about ballet and losing yourself. what’s one thing you used to love doing before all of this happened that you miss the most?
the funny thing is I can't think of anything cause all I know is I can't keep being alone with my thoughts.i remember having a love hate relationship with dance and maybe fashion design but I don't have will power to continue nor do have the desire to.
waiting for someone who kept disappearing, convincing myself he’d come back and everything would be okay. that kind of silence can make you lose pieces of yourself without even noticing
Take small steps and start reintroducing the things you loved in life. You will find connections and motivation if you do that. Thankyoul for sharing.