We were together for a year and was really happy and we did everything for each other. Sometimes we fought but it was a bit complicated 'cuz I have BPD so it's hard for me but he did everything he could. He proposed to me but after that he started to act strange and told me that he was confused and scared of the "what if"s. I always tried to give my best in understanding him but it wasn't enough for us and started fighting daily and when things went crazy we broke up.
That was 1,5 months ago. Since then we went to our holiday together (just the both of us) and we still speak daily but sometimes it's really off cuz sometimes he doesn't know what he wants and it caused that we're still apart from each other. He comes to us at weekends and sleeps with me and asks me to go to their house the next day for dinner and our families loves the both of us but I'm just confused. Sometimes he gets really angry and he acts so badly and say really mean things to me but the next hour he apologizes and lets me know that he was just sick in the head. Most of the time I want to fix things with him but then I'm really hurt and don't want to hurt like this anymore. When we were together he was the sweetest boy ever and now it hurts like hell. I was depressed a few weeks ago and I wanted to die, couldn't eat or go anywhere, I had panic attacks every day. Now I'm better but I would like to hear your opinions and if you can please give me some advice.
Thank you!
Last updated on:2026-08-09T20:34:48+05:30
Comments (4)
when you said you wanted to die a few weeks ago, did you tell anyone close to you how bad it got?
yes I did but it didn't help at all
nothing changed until i stopped looking at his words and started looking at the pattern. if someone keeps leaving me confused, crying, and waiting for the next apology, i have to believe THAT version too.
i stayed in that back and forth for months, the sweet version of him kept making me believe we'd find our way back. every good weekend made the bad days hurt even more