Why can't i stop thinking about him after the breakup?

I don’t know about you all, but it’s been 20 days, and honestly, I feel like I’m gradually adjusting to being alone. Deep down, I still struggle to sleep and eat, but it’s been better than before. I’ve been having strange dreams about him, and I often find myself looking out my window, wondering if he’ll ever return. Even at work, whenever I look out into the street, I can’t help but notice the color of his car and catch a whiff of his scent. He was an avoidant person, and it hurt me that he chose to walk away when I had the purest intentions of being his girlfriend. I believe he was scared and left, and I feel embarrassed every day because I spoke so highly of him, defended him, and loved him with all my heart. When I close my eyes, all I can think about are the small, happy memories we shared. It’s hard because everyone wants me to move on quickly when for me it takes time to get over someone that I grown attached too. I love and feel deeply. I tried distracting myself but when I’m alone that’s when it hits hard and I always wake up with a heavy chest. Maybe it’s me not trusting God enough to take control of the situation and my feelings or maybe it’s me seeing the good in a person even though they make mistakes . He works at this huge outdoor Water center and I was going to go on a Saturday with a friend to do canoeing and eat and have fun . Works at a different part of the park where they do zip lining. Should I go?

Last updated on:2026-08-06T20:27:11+05:30

Comments (7)

buttery1
buttery1 2 wks ago

checking every car that looked like his too. your brain grabs onto the tiniest things when you still love someone. 20 days is so early, give yourself some grace.

Pinktulip042
Pinktulip042 3 wks ago

if he wasn’t working that day I would wonder where he would be but I would focus on having fun with my friend maybe instead I’ll go watch a movie

witchaus
witchaus 3 wks ago

if i were in your shoes, i wouldn't go if part of me was secretly hoping to run into him. i waited until i could do those places for ME, not because i was wondering if he'd be there.

Pinktulip042
Pinktulip042 3 wks ago

lowkey I wanted to go with my friends bc all I been doing is staying home or working since the no contact I haven’t felt like going out it unless for work. If I did see him I think I would avoid being close to him.

kk066251
kk066251 3 wks ago

if you knew for sure he wouldn't be working that day, would you still want to go canoeing with your friend, or is seeing him part of what's pulling you there?

Michellee
Michellee 3 wks ago

same situation, wish you the best🤞🏽

holaitsme
holaitsme 3 wks ago

Dating an avoidant is challenging. It always ends with the same story. You should accept that it’s nothing related with your worth. I have experienced that too, but I learned hard way it’s out of my control and that’s okay. It’s suck and hard, but there’s nothing that I can do.

If you wanna go canoeing, you can try and have fun with friends, but I don’t recommend you to go if going there is to possibly meet your ex.