About a year ago I ended my relationship with my girlfriend and since then it has felt like nothing but pain.
We were long distance. She was introduced to me through a friend and early on she opened up about the struggles she was dealing with. I knew she had her own issues but I was willing to work through them with her. I was dealing with my own things too and I tried my best to be honest and transparent. There were a couple of times where I felt overwhelmed and asked for a break.
During one of those breaks I was on my way to a funeral when she told me she was thinking about harming herself. I didn’t know what to do. I was also questioning whether we should meet because the funeral I was attending was near her state. The friend who introduced us pushed for us to meet and encouraged me to ask her through a three-way call.
We ended up meeting and spending time together. Before that she had talked about sex so I brought up using condoms because I wasn’t willing to take risks with an accidental pregnancy. She had described herself as hypersexual and I wanted to make sure we were being responsible.
After everything the stress started taking a serious toll on me. I got sick my mental health declined and I asked for another break because I felt like I wasn’t able to show up the way she needed. A big issue was that she felt I wasn’t saying “baby” enough or being affectionate enough.
That break turned into around five months of constant pain for me. I kept trying to talk things through because I hoped it would help somehow but it didn’t. She started acting out in group chats and people from states away began reaching out to me because they were worried about her.
I reached out again hoping we could talk but she lashed out and accused me of using my family member’s death as an excuse for my mental health struggles. That accusation has stayed with me.
Since then I’ve been stuck in this constant battle with myself. I argue my side then I argue against myself. It feels like my brain won’t let me move on.
I can’t sleep properly. I either barely eat or I overeat. My schedule is completely off. Sometimes I can work out and push myself hard but other times I feel like everything is falling apart. I’ll go days struggling to sleep or eat normally while still trying to keep up with work.
I’ve been able to move past difficult things before so I don’t understand why this has affected me so deeply. The hardest part is waking up every day and having it be the first thing on my mind.
I don’t know. I guess it is what it is but I’m tired of feeling stuck here.
Last updated on:2026-08-07T04:54:50+05:30
Comments (4)
sounds like this relationship destroyed you. You need to rewrite the story your mind tells you. What she made you think and believe and question yourself simply isn't true. What's important is what you think of yourself. Feed yourself warm loving sentences. Free your mind from the negativity
i wasn't going to think my way out of it, i had to stop putting myself on trial every single day. if you're barely sleeping or eating and it's been a year, i really hope you're talking to someone outside of us too, because i waited way too long and i wish i hadn't.
do you find yourself stuck replaying that last stretch where everything started falling apart and trying to prove you weren't the person she said you were?
that place where every morning started with the same person in my head, and i kept replaying every conversation trying to prove i wasn't the bad guy. after months of it i realized i was carrying both my pain and theirs, and it crushed me