Why did he leave? the day my world collapsed

Today was normally a day when I would have gone to work and seen him. But my eyes were so swollen from crying last night that I called in sick and stayed home to sleep.

I still miss him so much. But at the same time, I’m getting angrier and angrier.

I don’t know whether his love for me simply wasn’t enough to make him fight for us, or whether his love was so intense that he couldn’t handle it and that’s why he ran from it. He still told me that he loved me.

In a way, the same thing that brought us together is also what tore us apart: his love for me.

I feel like I lost the most incredible boyfriend I’ve ever known.

My entire room is filled with things he gave me over the 2.5 years we were together. If I drink water, the glass was bought by him. If I go outside, the socks I’m wearing might be from him, my bag might be from him. If I brush my hair, even my hairbrush was something he bought me. If my back hurt, he bought me a massage device.

His love languages were gift-giving and acts of service.

Now, everywhere I look, I see him. Everywhere I look, I feel his absence.

Every evening, he used to walk me home. We would hug at the corner of my street before going our separate ways. I struggle so much whenever I pass that corner now.

I never imagined there would be a period in my life when I would be alone again.

All of my dreams, hopes, and plans were built around two people.

We used to talk about our future all the time. Since we were studying and working toward the same profession, we had plans for what we would do after graduation. We were going to get married two years after graduating. Before getting married, we were going to buy a home together. Then we would decide where to build our careers.

We had two possible plans: either we would work in a public hospital and live in a small coastal city, or we would stay in Istanbul and work in a private clinic or hospital.

Our home would be close to the sea. We would wake up in the mornings and go running. On Sundays, we would make pizza at home.

We had planned everything. The decoration of our house, how many rooms it would have, our wedding — everything.

But now I’m alone in all of those dreams.

Two months ago, I felt like I had the best boyfriend in the world. Now I feel like the loneliest girl in the world.

He was the best man I had ever known.

If I wanted something, he would immediately try to make it happen. He used to carry a change of clothes in his bag in case I got cold. He would carry things I might need, like hair ties, deodorant, and other little necessities.

I used to have frequent neck pain, so he would constantly carry my bag for me and massage my neck.

Whenever we were going to eat, he would prepare the food and put it in front of me. Sometimes he would even try to feed me with his own hands, although I wouldn’t let him.

If he didn’t see me for one day, he would come to my door even if it meant traveling for two hours just to see me.

We are both students, but I genuinely don’t remember ever having to pay for a meal when we were together. He bought me gifts every week. He prepared sandwiches for me every morning.

I struggled to gain weight, so he was always making sure I ate enough. With his help, I had gone from 50 kg to 54 kg. After the breakup, I dropped to 45 kg. I’m around 49 kg now.

He was willing to change so many things about himself for me.

We really only had one major problem: the way he behaved when he was angry or stressed.

Normally, he was the person who did everything he could to make me feel safe, loved, and happy. But when he was overwhelmed, it was like he became a completely different person.

That’s ultimately what ended our relationship.

During a completely normal argument about something that could have been resolved, he suddenly said, “Enough. I’m done. Let’s break up.”

And just one day before that, he had come all the way to my door with dessert.

I was actually annoyed with him because he had just gotten off work and was exhausted, and I couldn’t understand why he had traveled two hours just to see me.

He told me:

“I hadn’t seen you for one day and I missed you so much. If I didn’t see you today either, I would have missed you even more. I love you, and I’m working for our future.”

And then, within 24 hours, everything changed.

I still can’t comprehend how something can change so completely in a single day.

It hurts so much because I felt loved by him completely. I never doubted that he loved me. And I loved him just as deeply.

But he ended our 2.5-year relationship because of one moment when his anger took over.

I have no idea what happens from here.

The last time we talked about our relationship, he told me that he loved me so much that he couldn’t focus on anything else when we were together. He couldn’t find a balance between his relationship and his own life, so he chose to distance himself from me.

When I suggested meeting outside of work, he actually got angry with me and told me, “I can’t resist you. I can’t control what I feel when I’m with you.”

It’s like, to him, his feelings are something he needs to run away from.

And I’m the one who is slowly falling apart.

My professors get angry at me because I’m not eating enough. My friends tell me that I look sad and that all my energy is gone.

Nobody really understands that I felt like I was living the best period of my life, and then suddenly everything ended.

My entire world collapsed.

We still occasionally end up alone together during breaks at work. And when that happens, he seems desperate to talk to me. When I play with the cats, I catch him watching me with this incredibly affectionate look in his eyes.

But then he goes back to believing that his feelings are something he needs to escape from.

And I don’t know what to do with that.

I just wish things had happened differently.

I wish I didn’t have to take off the necklace you gave me and put it away.

I never believed we would ever break up.

I genuinely thought we were going to be together forever.

And I’m still trying to understand how the person I thought I would spend my life with became someone I have to learn how to live without.

Last updated on:2026-08-10T00:56:45+05:30