So today is the first day for no contact after he left me. We were together for 9 years. I am so heartbroken, it looks like my whole world collapsed, all good memories, future plans gone. I can’t stop crying, I constantly checking if he is online, I am hoping he writes me, I want to write him also so bad, but I am trying to keep distance. Last night was harsh, I woke up in the middle of the night and started searching him in bed, then I panicked when I can’t find him. Morning was harsh too, woke up in different world, without him in it, without our breakfast together, without our plans for the weekend. My mind still creates hopes that this is not the end, but I know that this is final, he said me clearly that he wants different life. When it get’s better? I am grieving this relationship so much and I love him so much, it hurts…
Last updated on:2026-08-16T16:47:16+05:30
Comments (14)
i cried constantly at first and checked my phone every few minutes, hoping he'd change his mind. what helped me was making the first few days about getting through the hours, not trying to imagine a life without him yet
I'm also trying to think about how to endure another hour and another hour, it's very difficult, so much pain inside, I've never missed a person so much in my life as I do now and the worst part is knowing that he probably doesn't feel the same way as I do. He's probably surrounded himself with friends, family, activities, he's not alone and he doesn't even think about me…
i remember those tiny routines hurting the most. what part of your day feels hardest right now, the mornings, the nights, or the moments when you reach for your phone?
I think the hardest part of the day is the morning, because I realize that a new day will begin, which will no longer be the same as before. When I wake up, all my emotions and memories come flooding back. Also in the morning, I pick up my phone and then check if he is already online, if he has woken up, I start thinking about what his day will be like... During the day, I try to do some activities, then I forget about them for a while and in the evenings I try to divert my thoughts by watching movies so that I get tired faster and can fall asleep faster..
i woke up reaching across the bed for him too, then remembered. that moment felt absolutely brutal. 💔
And this is just the first day.. I'm afraid to go to sleep because I know that at night I'll look for him again, it seems like the night should be the place where you fall asleep and time passes without thinking, but your body gets so used to it that waking up at night and not finding what you've seen next to you for 9 years just causes panic and fear..
I’m so sorry. I’ve come out of a ten year relationship and it has taken me longer than previous relationships. I’m not there yet, but those first couple of weeks are awful, I’m so sorry you’re fresh to them. But they won’t last forever, that I can promise, even though they feel like they will. After processing the shock and intense grief for the first couple of weeks you do need to make a conscious effort to concentrate on work, shower, see friends, eat, even though you don’t feel like it. I’m finding that while he’s on my mind every day I’m so so so so much better than I was. When I have bad days I journal, rest, go swimming and do something nice for myself like listen to music while doing a jigsaw puzzle. The good days my mind is still preoccupied but I can function as normal, and know this won’t last forever. wishing you strength and love
It's very painful and difficult that memories keep coming back to my head, it's very difficult to start life anew, when our whole routine has been together for so many years, it seems like the brain comes up with the idea that when he gets home from work, we'll go to the gym together, we'll have dinner and that routine is gone, it's so quiet without him. I really believe that time will help, I'll try to focus on activities so that the time passes as quickly as possible, because now I don't feel like eating or moving, it seems like all I do is cry. Thank you for your support, it's very important to me at the moment, because I have absolutely no one to talk to
@JoyfulSun176 yes I have been exactly where you are. you don’t have to plan life anew today. you won’t be ready to do that for a while. this part is about allowing yourself to feel your feelings.
I can't imagine how hurt you feel. You didnt lose anything if he got rid of you like that. Its gonna be very hard, but respect his decision and you're revenge is to let him see how hard is without you.
Thank you 🙏
it has taken me almost two years to fully accept that my relationship with my ex is totally over , I was with him for 8years to be honest it feels like a bad dream someone you were so used too , eating together sharing a bed .. making plans together and now it’s you alone I honestly dint know how to live in my own life was really messy abd hard and I did the begging and pleading to be taken back but nothing worked am finally choosing myself abd not chasing him anymore am on day 13 of no contact yiu can imagine being in denial for over two years … I truly feel u and I can’t promise that it’s gona be easy like I told u it has taken me over two years to just accept but hang in there it will get better sending yiu love and hugs yiu will go through this
@tracy256 and the worst part is that we love them so much that it takes us years to get back to life, we torture ourselves, our psychological health, we cry for them, grief the life we thought we have, while they live their lives on.. I never want to love anyone like this again, the pain in my heart is endless
🫂🫂