Why am i so angry after a short relationship?

i dated a guy for 2.5 months. It was a short time, but it was intense, as we spent a lot of time together (seeing each other 3-4 times per week). I am 37 and he is 29.
In the first date, he told me he would like to have kids and asked me if I wanted that too. I said I have never dreamed of being a mom, but I may have not really contemplated the idea for never having had a long term relationship. I said I was not closed to the possibility but that I also had concerns about my age. I asked if having kids was a dealbreaker for a relationship. He said "no" and said that the most important part was to find the right partner. We continued dating, he asked me about kids twice more, and I replied the same. He started to put a lot of effort on planning dates, we walked holding hands on the street, he wanted to see me constantly and even complained we did not see each other often enough. All this made me believe he was in piece with my uncertainity about having kids. However, almost two months into dating, he started making lots of "jokes" about having kids ("let's put a baby in your belly", " imagine how smart our child will be", "I want to have 6 kids"). That made me start feeling pretty insecure about where I stood. Why was this guy dating me if he is so desperate to have a child and he knows I am uncertain (and also uncapable of having 6 children once I am 37)?
He was soon travelling, so I did not say anything about it. But the insecurity made me start checking his instagram constantly looking for clues. The day he travelled, I noticed he followed a girl from our city (not a model or influencer, a regular girl). The girl did not follow him back. Once he landed, he removed the follow. That showed that he clearly had some intentions with her but was rejected. I felt upset because I helped him plan the trip, spent the night before the trip together, and entertained him on the phone for one hour while he was at the airport waiting for his flight. I did not say a thing because we had not discussed exclusivity and I did not want to be perceived as the crazy stalker. But I noticed him doing the same a few times more.
One night I texted him saying I was feeling super anxious because my job contract is ending and I am stressed looking for a new job. He did not understand the seriousness of what I was saying and replied with jokes, saying I could work at a supermarket (I have a PhD). The next morning I told him I did not feel like he was taking me seriously, not only about my job search, but about everything. I asked him about his intentions dating me, if he was exploring the potential for something serious, if he was just having fun, and if he was looking for other options. He did not reply, became defensive, said he did not undertand where that was coming from, and that it was not fair that I came up with that conversation when he was alone on holidays so far away. That hurt me because I did not get the reassurance I was hoping for.
Yet we continued talking while he was away (3 weeks holiday) and decided we were going to have a talk once he was back. Meanwhile he continued making lots of plans for our future dates. Until one day he sent me a screenshot of something he wanted to show me, and I saw that at the top of the image there was a dating app notification. I asked him about it. He said the app was just running on the background, said he was not using it, and that he has not been on dates since we met. I told him that not going on dates does not mean that he did not want to and that maybe he has just bern rejected by girls. He then lost his patience and ended things. And as expected, he tried to turn it on me, saying that we were not going to work anyway because he really wants kids and I am unsure about it.
I am SO mad about it! If he knew this was not going to work, why was he dating me? For how long was he going to led me on? I am already in a quite stressful phase of my life, where I need to decide which new career path I need to follow and try to find a job in it. I live abroad (he is a local), and I also need to decide if I want to stay in this country or try to move somewhere else. I do not have many friends here, and it has been quite difficult. I know he is not good, I was not in love, but I cannot stop being sad, angry, and feeling like I was fooled into believing I finally found someone that treated me nicely. I cannot eat well, I cannot work. My mind is in a loop. How do I stop that? I am totally aware that I am overreacting, it was not even a real relationship. But I just feel mad.
We spent 5 days no contact, until he came back from his trip, and came over yesterday to give me back some stuff. We talked, and he is just such an inconsiderate idiot. He does not recognize how shitty he is and he still tried to pose as the nice guy saying that he ended for both of our sakes because of the kids issue. Lier! He was not going to end it, he just ended it because he was cought and confronted. He was going to continue dating me and draining my energy to fill the void he has inside. I guess he was hoping I would not find a job in the country and would leave, so he could play the heartbroken one.

Last updated on:2026-08-20T14:48:30+05:30