Hi, maybe someone can weigh in their opinion about this. I recently broke things off with the guy I was seeing because it was becoming too hard on my anxiety and nervous system. I realized that it was just too soon for me to be seeing someone new after a past abusive relationship. I miss the guy I recently stopped seeing, and I think of him a lot. My dilemma is that I have a close gal pal who is very interconnected with the guy I just stopped seeing. They used to date, and she talks about him regularly because he’s a close friend of hers. Her and I have been friends for about a year now and are pretty close, but she can be a bit problematic and stressful to be around. Ever since meeting there’s been constant drama on her end, which I’ve been sucked into a lot. My roommates often feel anxious around her because of her lack of a filter on the stuff she says, and she’s kinda hard on my nervous system too. Recently I told her that I need some space and time to myself. So far, she hasn’t contacted me, but she did try to contact my mom yesterday and I have no idea why. I don’t know whether I should try to reintegrate her into my life or break things off permanently. My roommates don’t want to be around her, and im so worried that if I go to her place to hangout that she will just keep bringing up the guy I care about so much but had to stop seeing. Even when I tell her not to talk about him, she seems to forget very often. School is starting for me, and I don’t know if it’s good for my mental health to be around her, but I don’t want to leave her either. I really care about her, I just don’t want to destroy my mental health, especially since I’m still healing from having to leave the guy I was seeing that she’s so intertwined with. The whole situation feels messy and any input helps.
Last updated on:2026-08-20T00:18:33+05:30
Comments (6)
i’ve learned the hard way that caring about someone doesn’t mean i have to keep giving them access to me.
i’d be worried too, especially with her bringing him up after you’ve asked her not to. do you feel more anxious at the thought of losing her, or more anxious at the thought of letting her back in?
That’s a good question. honestly I think I feel more anxious about the thought of letting her back in. thank you for asking that. that helps me think about this in a new way
If she is problematic and stressful to be around and your friends don't like her it might time to save yourself and move on.
yes I was thinking that too. still deciding what to do
that spot where one friendship somehow keeps pulling me back toward a breakup i’m trying to heal from. i cared about her too, but being around her left me drained every single time.