I’m realizing that part of my pain isn’t only about losing him. It also hurts my ego that someone who once loved and wanted me no longer feels that way. I have a strong need for him to eventually regret his decision, because his regret would feel like proof that I mattered and that he made a mistake.
I’m trying to recognize that wanting him to regret losing me is partly my wounded ego looking for validation. I don’t actually need his future feelings to prove that I was worthy of love. What I’m struggling to accept is simply that he may have loved me, his feelings may have been real, and he can still have reached a point where he no longer wants me.
Last updated on:2026-08-23T23:10:21+05:30
Comments (6)
if he never regrets it, do you think the harder part would be missing him, or feeling like his choice says something about your worth?
I think for me it’s both, but the second one makes the first so much harder. I miss him and grieve the relationship while also struggling with what his choice seems to say about me. I think part of me wants him to regret it because his regret would feel like proof that I was worth choosing because of old abandonment wounds.
i've found it helps to let both things be true. he can have loved you deeply, and still decide he doesn't want the relationship anymore.
Thank you. I’m still trying to find peace with this. My brain seems stuck on why he couldn’t choose the relationship if he cared about me.
i wanted my ex to regret leaving so badly because i thought his regret would prove i was worth choosing, and honestly that need hurt almost as much as losing him.
I know that so well. I’m still stuck on wanting him to prove I was worth choosing.