i was exclusively seeing a guy for four months and things ended after i told him i wasn’t comfortable becoming more sexual without commitment.
one of my close friends knew everything that happened. She saw how badly the situation affected me and supported me through it. At one point he tried to follow her and she actually asked me what she should do. I told her that interacting with him would hurt me and she agreed that she wouldn’t.
We eventually became distant and i recently found out that she and he are now following each other.
I immediately removed her from my social media but i haven’t contacted either of them. Part of me wants to ask her why she did it especially because she knew how much this situation hurt me but another part of me feels like i should just leave it alone and stay no-contact.
I’m also struggling with comparing myself to her and wondering whether he’ll treat her differently. I hate that my mind keeps going there especially because i know i can’t control what either of them chooses to do.
Should i talk to my former friend about this or just stay no-contact? And how do i stop obsessing over whether he’ll treat her better than he treated me?
Last updated on:2026-08-31T18:12:12+05:30
Comments (5)
i’d stay no-contact, honestly. i’ve learned that sometimes the answer to “why would you do that?” doesn’t give you anything you actually need, and protecting your peace felt better than reopening the whole mess.
this hurt in a really specific way because she knew the boundary and even agreed to it. do you think you want an explanation from her, or are you hoping she’ll make you feel like choosing him was wrong?
I just want to say I am extremely proud of you! You maintained your boundaries by explaining you wanted commitment before pursuing anything further.
Your friend is a bad friend, hes not going to treat her any better, you just have standards. He would have hurt you sooner or later so im glad you stood up for yourselves.
Dont feel any guilt from removing them from your life. You are creating space for much better people to come along and enrich your life
Hii
watching someone you trusted get close to an ex-ish person after knowing exactly how much it hurt made me question myself too. i kept wondering what she had that i didn’t, and it took me a while to realize that question was only hurting me more.