It’s been 70 days.
Everyone kept telling me, “Give it time, eventually you won’t think about him anymore.” And I really tried.
I cut my hair, got my eyebrows lightened, changed my makeup style, and bought a new perfume. I started going to the gym more often. For the first time, I went to the gym we had joined together by myself. I continued the runs we had started together, but alone. I started learning German, went to the theater for the first time, and started reading books by myself at the beach. I met new people and made new friends. I started therapy. I even finished a 2,000-piece puzzle.
I added so many things to my life just to keep myself busy.
But nothing changed. If anything, I started missing him more and more.
Because I miss him the most in the tiniest moments of everyday life. A few days ago, I finally made a genuinely good cookie for the first time. He had seen all my previous raw and burnt cookies. Not being able to take the first good ones to him hurt me so much more than I expected.
And when I bought gummy candies for the first time since the breakup, I realized I couldn’t give him the orange ones anymore. I normally didn’t even like them; he did. If he wasn’t with me, I would keep them until we were together again. This time, I threw the ones I had left in the trash.
I think this is what missing someone really feels like. Wanting to share something when something makes you happy, remembering that they loved something you didn’t, thinking, “I would have told him about this.”
A few days ago, I found out that a friend had gotten back together with her boyfriend after working through some problems. At the beginning of the summer, she had wanted to break up and had even cancelled a trip they were supposed to take together. But now, there was a completely different kind of happiness in her voice. I was genuinely happy for her, but while we were talking, I realized something: when someone truly makes an effort, they can fight for their love and choose to hold on to it. And inevitably, it made me think about what happened in my own relationship.
Another thing happened too. A girl I’m not even close to saw my TikTok reposts and messaged me asking, “Are you okay?” Ever since I blocked him, I had been leaving all my sadness there. Apparently, no matter how hard I’ve been trying to pull myself together, even someone who barely knows me could tell how hurt I am.
For 70 days, I’ve added so many things to my life.
But nothing has filled the space he left.
Because it turns out the problem was never about filling my time.
I don’t miss the time. I miss him.
Last updated on:2026-09-11T07:27:23+05:30
Comments (9)
did he blindside you?
that girl asking if you were okay probably hit hard, especially when you’ve been trying so hard to look like you’re moving forward. do you think what hurts most right now is missing him, or knowing he didn’t fight for the relationship the way you wished he had?
I just wish I can stop loving this hard coz it always destroys me
EVERYTHING to build a life that feels like yours again, and somehow still missing them in the smallest moments. that cookie part hurt because sometimes you don’t miss the relationship itself in that second, you just miss having someone to run to with the little things
i feel you im in the same situation right now even keeping your mind busy sometimes just lets thoughts slide past and your their just thinking about him like why you back in my mind but honestly work on yourself and people can say it easily but what you feel and how you think its never easy your mind never process it fast enough so your stuck their tryna process it because you loved that person its never easy to forget them
yeah, exactly. i think that’s what i’m struggling with the most. everyone keeps saying to keep yourself busy and work on yourself, and i’ve genuinely been trying, but you can’t really outrun the feelings. i think i’m finally realizing that i don’t need to force myself to stop missing him, i just need to learn how to live with it until it gets easier. 🤍
Acknowledge the feeling dear ^^ embrace it! “this is sadness and this is grief” or label every emotion angry, sorrow, longing, hurt, disappointed, etc. maybe you are not sad that much because of him, so labeling the emotions can help separate each feeling ^^ I also still feel sad and when I cook his favorite food, I miss him more. When I have a good news, I wanna share it with him. Usually, I write a journal instead. I write a letter to him about what I wanna say that day.
I think you're right. I’ve been trying so hard to keep myself busy and make the feeling go away that I probably haven’t really stopped to acknowledge what I’m actually feeling. And what you said about wanting to share good things with him really resonated with me. I think that’s one of the hardest parts for me — I still instinctively want to tell him things. I might try writing letters to him like you do instead of keeping all of it inside. Thank you for sharing this with me 🤍
@EasyPeasy188 yes, dear ^^ healing starts by acknowledging the feeling not avoiding it. I experienced jumped to a new relationship only to find I keep missing my ex. It was very dangerous because I wasn’t mindful enough with someone. So, it’s better to sit with emotions so that it won’t confuse you later. So proud of you for committing no contact