Four months ago I ended my 1-year relationship because my ex lacked effort affection and ambition leaving me feeling insecure despite our strong chemistry and physical connection. Both of us were heartbroken and he expressed anxiety about me seeing other people.
To heal I instituted no-contact and tried dating but after a few disappointing encounters I realized I still had feelings for him. I recently reached out to catch up over drinks where I shared my dating struggles—only for him to reveal he had been sleeping around extensively including multiple hookups and threesomes.
I was crushed but he then apologized admitted I was the best girlfriend he ever had and claimed he was done dating to focus on himself. Caught up in the moment and missing our connection we slept together and agreed to see each other casually over the coming months. Because I naturally attach deeply to one person I’m already finding myself wanting a real relationship with him again.
Last updated on:2026-09-15T20:47:12+05:30
Comments (6)
You are lonely, and in love with the fantasy of what you think he could give you. He has shown you through his actions, that he is not capable of a fulfilling relationship. And at his age, he’s probably not looking to be tied down anyway. Nothing will change, so if you want to go back to your same toxic relationship, just go have a man, go back. Once you learn to be happy alone, you don’t put up with men like that.
Had kinda similar experience
You are chasing the hope of what you could have been if you were right for each other, rather than recognising the reality of who you were to each other.
Stay away and walk your own path. It's never how you imagine it to be. People don't change after a relationship, they change because they're not in the relationship. If they get back in it, the same patterns come back because the relationship itself is the catalyst. You'll just end up the same way again.
I think that if you left him in the first place, it was for a reason, he could not give you the affection and efforts, stuff that are important in a healthy relationship. I think that you did a good thing starting no contact, but you should before start dating someone else to fill this gap, try to learn to stay ok alone. I don't mean it in a bad way, instead I mean feeling good enough alone for now, so that you don't need a relationship to complete you because you are already at peace with yourself. Only then you should start seeing other people and maybe find someone that can give you the right affection because I'm sure there is someone, you don't need to come back to him , because even if you are in love he already showed you all he had to offer in a relationship ,and was quite immature bc he hooked up with everyone after you. hope I can be of any help❤️
This is good advice. I remember having my first boyfriend of a few months at 23/24. I thought he would be it, but I was so wrong. I wasn't heartbroken about it, but I was sad. I carried on, and a year later, I found my current partner, whom I am trying to give space to (non contact)