As i mentioned before I finally exploded and told him exactly what I thought about his behaviour after he pushed me to my limits with his shitty dry behaviour and not respecting my boundaries. Yesterday he sent me this long message and blocked me immediately afterwards. So I didn’t even get the chance to reply.
Basically, he said he didn't want to discuss our belongings anymore, that I didn't have to agree with his decision to block me because it was his decision to make, and that he didn't want any further contact. But the part that genuinely made me furious was when he said he would've preferred to say goodbye to me in a nicer way, but after MY message, he felt that was no longer possible. But he wishes me well and that this was his last statement.
And I'm sorry, but WHAT? So now our last interaction being this ugly is somehow my fault? I would've loved to say goodbye on nicer terms too. I would've loved for us to handle this breakup fairly and respectfully. But that requires TWO people. You can't repeatedly disregard someone's feelings, ignore their boundaries, make unnecessarily hurtful comments, and then act disappointed that they eventually snap.
It just feels like another way of shifting the blame onto me instead of acknowledging how his own behaviour contributed to this. He gets to have the final word, tell me how things are going to be, and then block me before I can even respond. And apparently, I'm the reason we couldn't have a nicer goodbye. Wow.
Also the fact that he mentioned i am not "allowed" to contact him over friends, family or other ppl in any other way or not come to his house randomly..like broo who do you think you are?? Like I'm some psycho..I don’t give a shit about you anymore and i don't want you in my life rn so why would i do that?
I don't even know what to feel anymore. I don't think I can ever truly hate him.. But right now, I'm so fucking angry. I'm angry at the person he has become, at how he has treated me.. I genuinely don't wish him well right now, i don't wish for him to be able to move on from this well, and I don't think I need to pretend otherwise.
And the thing is one of his own friends today told me that she's questioning whether she even wants to meet up with him or continue being friends with him because of how he's been acting lately. I'm not saying that to prove I'm right, but it honestly made me feel a little less crazy. Because for so long, I questioned myself and whether I was asking for too much, and now even people around him are noticing things.
As angry as I am, there's also a part of me that's relieved. I'm glad I'm out of this relationship. I'm glad I don't have to keep trying to make things work with someone who made me feel like my boundaries were negotiable. I just wish I hadn't had to lose someone I loved so much to realise how unhealthy things had become. I'm just done trying to get basic consideration from someone who apparently doesn't want to give it.
I really wanted us to end on good terms. I really did. And I'm grieving the fact that we couldn't, while also being fucking relieved that I don't have to keep living through this anymore.
Last updated on:2026-10-12T04:05:11+05:30
Comments (8)
exploding after months of swallowing my hurt, then somehow being made to feel like MY reaction was the whole problem. that mix of anger and relief is so real, especially when you finally see that you were trying to fix something that needed effort from both people.
i’d be furious too, honestly. i had to learn that i could regret how a conversation ended without taking responsibility for the other person’s behaviour, and i stopped chasing a nicer goodbye once i realised i was the only one still trying to make things right.
Not me now realizing that you are a guy! my bad my bad my bad. 😭 I’m sorry and idk if the advice still applies, lmk. And I’m sorry I should have been more aware , sorry
I love all parts of you, but especially loving the part of you that feels relieved. I had that feeling too in a super intense dynamic, my first. Girl I felt so happy I think I was even skipping along the road. SKIPPInG.
That part of you is your higher self. The part that knows what it deserves, what it’s worth, and what’s better. I would pay serious attention to this part.
However in listening to your story, I can still see you trying to expect adult behaviour from a man-child. Also, girl it sounds like you didn’t just love him- it sounds like you were attached to him, and you were also attached to his ‘potential.’ Thag reminds me of a book I read in uni, ‘women who love too much: when you keep wishing and hoping he’ll change.’
by Robin Norwood.
Think of it like this. You see an elephant. Or a rat. If you see the elephant climb up a tree, that would be truly shocking. If you see a rat stomp a tree down, that would be shocking. You wouldn’t.
you expect elephant behaviour from an elephant and rat behaviour from a rat. This man is not an adult man with logical processing. Sweetheart that man, never existed. You thought he was there, or somehow he will find it, if you just try hard long enough or wait long enough. I’m holding your hand as I say this ‘HE NEVER EXISTED.’
This is who he is. Petty. Wmotionally Immature. An individual who cannot take accountability. Verbally abusive. Emotionally detached. And he is also those other things that made you love him. He is ALL those things, COMBINED.
But that logical, kind one in conflict resolution, the one who respects ‘basic decency’ and ‘basic respect’ and ‘basic consideration’ and is ‘empathetic.’ That man Does NOT EXIST. Get that tattooed on your palm.
He could be ten years away, or never. BUT, and listen carefully. This type of man usually likes the control he places over you, how he knows to work you up. eventually, I am telling you, YOU will have to be the one to set the boundary with him, and keep it.
I can hear you being like ‘no but he blocked me, he won’t contact me again.’ GURL you are dealing with a MAN-CHILD. Men children are unpredictable, impulsive and manipulative.
So you need to block him. YOU need to take control of this narrative. You need to unfollow him from all socials, stay away from anywhere he is, not engage with him in any way, not respond in any way, basically be to him like a mummy in the tombs of Egypt.
And again I ask, are you in therapy?
Yeah, honestly, I get what you mean, and thank you for all your advice. ❤️ I think a lot of it still applies no matter the gender, it's not that different imo. I've already unfollowed him everywhere, and there's pretty much no way for us to contact each other anymore, so I'm trying to focus on myself now. I'm kinda in therapy, it started as emergency support for the first few weeks and now it's only once a month, but honestly, talking to people on here has helped a lot, too. It makes me feel less alone in all of this.
@Clayton111 great. you’re not alone!! And I’m so proud of you, hun! you’re welcome. okay, now lemme log off. it’s 4:43pm ans I wanted to enter the ocean for a bit.
feel like hearing his friend question his behaviour must have been such a relief after all that self-doubt. do you feel more at peace knowing you're out of the relationship now, or does the way he chose to end things still hurt more than you expected?
It still hurts, but honestly I was expecting it. I got so used to expecting the worst because that was usually how things turned out and unfortunately, I was right again. I’m glad I’m free now and don’t have someone jealous beside me who can’t even be genuinely happy for their own partner. I feel like I can finally breathe and be myself again. But at the same time I’m still sad about it all.