Month 2 of healing after a 3-year relationship. We shared so much love and respect that I truly thought we were made for one another.
But he struggled with alcohol and party drugs as a way to cope with not liking himself. I supported him, but he never fully acknowledged his struggles, and his unhappiness grew until he couldn’t cope with himself or my expectations for change anymore. So he left me.
I know I deserve better and that the breakup was for the best, and I’m processing how much of his behaviour was linked to addiction and questioning whether he was as kind as I believed.
But I can’t stop seing the potential of this man and hope he’ll come back to me.
I feel confused and powerless. If anyone had similar experiences and wants to share or just give advice, I’ll be immensely thankful.
Last updated on:2026-10-12T04:39:32+05:30
Comments (6)
i went through something similar with my ex and his drinking. i kept loving the man i knew he could be, even when the man standing in front of me kept hurting me. letting go of that potential hurt almost as much as losing him.
i know how hard it is when addiction is part of the relationship, because you keep wondering what was him and what was the addiction
hurts to read because i can feel how much you still love him. do you find yourself missing the relationship you actually had, or the future you pictured with him once he was finally okay with himself?
Good question, it’s hard to tell.
I definitely miss the strong relationship we’ve build and the feeling of coming home to someone. Buuuut - Weeks ago I found myself scrolling through old pictures and noticed that so many of them were taken on the very same days we’d had yet another discussion about alcohol :D
I had this whole fantasy of travelling together and having kids someday, so I think that’s the part I’m finding hardest to accept. My idealised future got thrown in the bin, I guess that’s what makes me feel insecure and more stubborn to accept he’s gone.
I had a similar situation. He believed "if you love someone, set them free" so he broke up with me because he couldn't give me the love I deserved because he simply didnt love himself. I accepted his lack of capacity because I loved him with everything I had.
I can relate to seeing the potential, but we need to accept how they are in the present, because out of their own doing, they may never reach their potential. We just have to heal our hearts and hope the best for them and their journey in finding themselves
That sounds hard. Good on you for staying strong <3 And yeah, we can fantasise all we want, but none of that changes the present!