Today is a bad day. I have reflected on our relationship and I have decided to let it go. I think it just cannot work.
He has blocked and deleted my number so many times. And everytime, I kept it. I waited. Because I knew he would be back. Even this time, I know he will come back but do you know that feeling for example, in wrestling, when the wrestler is on their last leg and you can see them, so drained, so exhausted, so beaten up, so finished but he JUST doesn't want to give in. That's my relationship.
And I feel like, we both want it to end but we are both struggling to let go. It's not fun anymore. It's a cycle of pain, short satisfaction and then pain again.
And yet, I am that wrestler who just doesn't want to give it up. WHY?? Because I can see how horrible this relationship is and it's not working.
we have dated now for three years, and from the very first year it was like this. Our longest break up was six months, and I felt like I could breathe again, but he came back and because I love him with everything in me, I took him back even though I knew the cycle would be exactly the same.
Here I am today, two weeks into our "break up". For the first time, I am unblocked and my number is still saved on his phone because I check (unfortunately) and I can't bring myself to text him but I also can't bring myself to delete and block his number.
I want it to end but I don't know how to. But also, I don't want it to be over. I know it's a contradiction, I am aware but I think we have both reached a point where we are "just hard to get rid of".
Last updated on:2026-03-30T14:43:20+05:30
Comments (6)
what feels scarier to you right now, actually ending it for good or the thought of staying in this same loop again in a few months?
oh you clocked me. It depends on the moment, but as I type this the same loop sounds scarier. And your question resonates, thank you
i was stuck in that same on off loop for almost 2 years, blocking, unblocking, waiting for them to come back like clockwork… it gets to a point where you’re just TIRED but still can’t let go
oh, how I relate.
I'm in the same boat, 85 days on NC, blocked him on socials, just cant block his number.
Maybe it's okay you can't block and delete. That doesn't mean you can't move on with your life, right? Think of him as a book on a shelf. Hes there, but you've read that story. You're in the mood to find a new, better tale. I can't block or delete my guy's number either, but I move on. It's a slow forward motion, but I do it for myself because I am worth more. So are you. XO