in the past I think my ex did a decent job at apologizing, but after I got angry with her for some significant lack of communication her ability to give a real apology in which she took any real responsibility or expressed what she would do differently was just non existent. it was so confusing because she was deeply caring in other ways... near the end of our relationship she payed off all my credit card debt, she would often make food or buy food and it was always very thoughtful, but then she also did things that felt deeply inconsiderate and it was hard for me to recon with the fact that these different sides of her were both the same person.
Last updated on:2026-04-20T23:49:57+05:30
Comments (8)
do you feel like the caring actions made it harder for you to trust your gut about the inconsiderate parts?
very much so
that split between someone being SO caring in some ways and then completely dropping you in others messes with your head. my ex would do big thoughtful things too, but when it came to owning their behavior, nothing… and i kept trying to make those two versions fit
yes, exactly. it felt like I split too. there was the part of me that loved her and wanted to grow old with her and the part of me that was like I don't think I can even have a relationship with her if she can't take accountability for the ways she hurt me
i miss her
yeah, i miss the parts of her that I felt deeply connected to but right now they feel like a distant memory
i need help understanding how you feel similar thing happened to me but i used to always fight with him i had trouble apologising and when i got mad id say things i dont mean all the time ig he had enough and left to protect his peace later on i learnt when we broke up i had bipolar and i feel things intensely i miss him but he has move on to be with his ex
@SweetVibes907 I have that experience too. I don’t know if I have bipolar. I have asked my psych and she didn't think so, but I have a low distress tolerance so get angry pretty easily. I know that's true and is something that I need to work on, but I also know my feelings are real and me having big reactions doesn't discount that