Originally our relationship was never meant to work - there is a large age gap and distance (he lives 3.5hrs away). But there was a deep connection we both couldn't ignore. We only got to see each other every second weekend but we both cherished the time spent together. It worked for me because im also a carer for my elderly parents and work every other weekend.
We were together for about a year until Easter where he ended things. He said he struggled with the distance and was confused about his feelings and thought he might be scared of commitment. He couldn't see us doing this distance thing for another 5 years. We agreed to spend that last weekend together and say our goodbyes.
it was weird because at the end of each weekend we spent together, he would cry knowing it would be a while before we saw each other again. The last weekend we spent together, he didnt cry. I sensed the relief. Which in reality, helped me move on.
Since the breakup, things haven't been too bad, because of the distance, it meant my day to day life didn't change much, just dealing with the no contact. I didn't spiral too much, I didn't ask the questions of why does everyone leave, why am I not good enough, all of those self worth doubtful questions never came up. Instead I kept telling myself - I am not going to fight for a love that didnt want to stay.
Instead, I poured all the love I felt for him, back into myself. I started running again and going for long walks to clear my mind, I focused on work to keep me distracfed.
The question is, am I ready to see him again? Theres an event I got to that happens 3 times a year, its also the place I first met him. I've been going for the last 8 years and I know he is going to be there for the event thats held for this weekend. Its been about a month since the breakup but I feel im well into my healing journey. I still think about him a lot, but not as much as before. My heart still skips a beat everytime I see his name.
im just not sure if im ready to see him again and if I do, will I be willing to speak to him. Im scared its going to reset my healing progress. Me not attending the event is out of the question because its the one thing that gives me joy and I get to see other people I love and adore and catch up on our busy lives.
Am I ready? im scared ill say something i regret. Ill never regret the time we spent together, because i loved him. Being in love is one of the most beautiful things in life and im grateful for that. I also learnt a lot in this relationship. My love languages are acts of service and gift giving but I've realised its a way to try and buy them to make them stay
Last updated on:2026-05-06T16:53:56+05:30
Comments (8)
That sounds very mature and grounded of you. Why are you afraid to see him? Sounds like you have both already moved on in life.
I saw him, it completely restarted my healing journey. I still love him dearly. Our contact was so minimal, we pretty much ignored each other all night. I've now got to come to terms with - we are just strangers in each other's lives. and it just hurts
do you feel calm when you imagine seeing him or does your body tense up right away
at first the thought of it made me feel calm, but the more I think about it, the more anxiety rises. I know it was the right thing to end our relationship, but I know there's feelings still there for him. I think ill just try and avoid him and just try and have a fun night.
i went to the event anyway but i made one rule for myself, i didn’t owe him a conversation. just being there for me changed everything, not for him.
thank you, i needed this reminder
that moment where you’re healing but their name still hits your chest out of nowhere. seeing them again felt like ripping a scab i just started to trust. it’s such a weird in-between place.
thats what im afraid of