Why does it hurt so much seeing my ex move on?

i’m about 2.5 months out of an 8-year relationship. we have kids so we still talk and see each other sometimes.
this is my first real breakup she was my first in everything so it feels like my whole adult life just got flipped and i don’t really know how to handle it.
what’s been really hard is she got into a serious relationship just two weeks after we ended things. i don’t know the full story but it’s been tough trying to process how fast that happened.
at first i was in shock but also pushing myself gym staying busy trying to get my life together. now it’s different. when the kids leave the silence hits hard and i feel low and unmotivated.
she seems genuinely happy and i’ll be honest that hurts to see. sometimes it feels like she’s doing the same things we used to do and even though i know it’s normal it makes me feel replaceable.
we had a recent moment where things felt almost normal again laughing talking then she pulled back and went distant. i get why but it still messed with my head.
i still have feelings for her. part of me is glad she’s okay but another part feels stuck. i keep thinking maybe things could’ve worked if we handled things differently.
i’ve also realized i played a part in this. i built my whole world around her and the relationship and over time i lost parts of myself. now that it’s over it feels like i’m starting from zero socially and emotionally.
i’m trying to rebuild on my own but it’s overwhelming.
i know i need to move forward for my kids and myself but i still feel tied to her. co-parenting makes it harder and seeing her move on so fast makes it feel like i’m falling behind.
is it normal to still feel like this a few months in? and how do you actually move forward when you still care this much while they seem already past it?

Last updated on:2026-05-04T13:17:02+05:30