my boyfriend… well ex now broke up with me this weekend and i’m completely shattered. we’ve been together since high school and made long distance work for almost four years with just a few weeks left before i was finally moving back home after graduation.
he’s struggled with his sense of self for a while even took a break before but this time he ended things completely. he said he can’t love me the way i deserve because he barely loves himself right now that he feels lost. he kept saying he still loves me and that this was the hardest thing he’s ever done that it’s a “right person wrong time” situation. it all came out of nowhere we were literally talking about our future the day before.
there were no real signs no big fights. i just asked for a little more effort in communication and instead he ended the relationship on a two-hour phone call. he hasn’t even talked to anyone about what he’s going through he just bottled it all up and made this decision alone.
he asked for no contact which feels so cruel after everything we’ve been through. i asked for one in-person conversation when i get back home in a few weeks and he agreed. since then we haven’t spoken.
he says this isn’t about me and i believe that. but i’m still completely heartbroken. this was my first love we had a future planned and now it just feels like everything has fallen apart. i keep thinking about how i didn’t even know the last time i saw him would be the last.
i don’t know what to do. a part of me just wants to fix it and get him back.
Last updated on:2026-05-04T22:21:03+05:30
Comments (8)
do you feel like he ever really let you in when he was struggling, or were you always trying to meet him where he wouldn’t fully show up
i am so sorry you’re dealing with this right before graduation, but his internal spiraling is not your fault. keep that no contact boundary for now and just focus on your huge accomplishments because you honestly deserve to celebrate yourself even if he’s too lost to show up for you.
cheer up
He could genuinely be telling you the truth or there could be someone else. But that’s not for you to figure out. A relationship takes two people to choose each other everyday. If he has decided not to choose you, maybe he is choosing himself and that’s okay. Let him heal. Let him figure his life out. If it’s meant to be, you will find your way back to each other. If not, be grateful for the good memories and move on. Live your life. ❤️🩹♥️
that whole "i'll come find you again" line while asking for no contact is just cruel. he's basically keeping you on the hook while he figures his shit out, which isn't fair to you at all.
three weeks before closing the distance and he pulls this?
Just went through something similar. you can’t fix someone else or control them. take him for his word and know it’s not your worth. focus on fixing yourself and hopefully after that this won’t hurt as much and either he works on himself and comes back to you, or you’ve healed enough to know that you deserve someone who can love you in the capacity you need. it’s tough out there - you’re not alone. ❤️🩹
keep your head up, keep moving forward, lean on your people, and know you're not alone friend ❤️
Take your time. breath deeply. ask your higher powder to take on the burden you're carrying. I know it may sound strange if you have never ask for help, but believe me it can help. it sounds like he's using the old saying, IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME. A lot of people say it when they breaking up with someone. it leaves you with no place to go. don't fall for it. The rest of it is a smoke screen to confuse you. I've heard it all before it not new. you can't fix him he's looking for a way out and you can almost bet there's someone else in his life.