As the anger fades I miss the time before everything went bad. The relationship seemed so good for so long. Looking back it seems like a made up fantasy. I don't even know what was real anymore. I don't like who I became. I felt like a jealous, bitter, distrustful version of my former self.
I want to feel pride in how I treat myself and others. I don't even know if I'm a good person anymore. I want better for myself and I want to treat others better. I'm tired of losing myself to orbit around another person. I've wasted to much time that way. I've thrown myself into relationships since I was 14... 22 years is too long to not be living for myself. In another 22 years I'll be almost 60. This life is too short to not be growing into the person I want to be
Last updated on:2026-05-12T04:40:00+05:30
Comments (6)
i actually think the fact that you’re questioning how you treat yourself and others says a lot about you. the people who truly don’t care usually never stop to reflect like this.
Thank you. I do care a lot
i became someone i didn’t even recognize in my last relationship too. i was anxious all the time, jealous, constantly questioning myself. when it ended i kept asking if i was even a good person anymore, but honestly i think losing yourself like that is what finally forces you to find yourself again.
I agree. Wishing you all the best as you move towards finding yourself
i’m curious, do you feel like you’ve ever really gotten to know yourself outside of relationships? because reading this feels like someone waking up for the first time in years, even if it hurts right now.
I think that's pretty spot on. Yes, it does hurt, but it also feels like it broke the spell of feeling like I need a relationship and seeing the way that I orbit others will never give me the relationship I want. I feel more agency to become the person I want to be rather than looking to others to confirm my worth.