my ex and i were together for about a year and a half the first time around. when we broke up back then she blocked me everywhere built up a lot of resentment toward me and got back involved with her ex pretty quickly. at the time she acted completely over me. but later on she admitted she thought about me constantly during that period even accidentally called her ex by my name once and eventually after almost a year apart we reconnected and got back together.
this recent situation has been way more confusing though. we weren’t officially back together yet but we’d rebuilt a friendship for about a month and then started talking romantically again for around two weeks. honestly those two weeks felt really genuine. we had deep conversations about our past issues what needed to change and how things could maybe work properly this time.
then after one of her psychologist appointments she ended things. she told me her heart didn’t want to but her brain and inner voice were telling her it was the right decision.
everything got worse after the following saturday. apparently she’d been telling some friends i was toxic and controlling and some of them wanted to hear my side. i got emotional while defending myself and ended up mentioning intimacy we’d shared because i felt like they already saw me as some horrible person. i regret it badly because i know it embarrassed and hurt her. after that night she became extremely angry and said she “wasn’t confused anymore.”
even after all that we still had a two hour phone call where she was crying angry vulnerable all at once. it didn’t feel emotionally dead or detached at all.
one of the biggest problems in our relationship was that she saw me as controlling especially earlier on. i’ll admit i definitely had insecure and controlling tendencies at the start but over time i genuinely worked on myself a lot. i even recently spoke with a psychologist who said my behaviour sounded more like anxious attachment and emotional immaturity than outright abusive control.
what makes this harder is that she got involved with another guy insanely fast about a week after things ended just like she reconnected with her ex quickly after our first breakup. part of me wonders if this is her way of coping and trying to force herself forward emotionally.
after around three weeks of no contact she unfollowed and removed me on instagram and tiktok and even unfollowed my best friend which she also did after our first breakup. but unlike last time she didn’t fully block me everywhere. she only blocked me on snapchat and just removed me elsewhere.
i tried reaching out respectfully after no contact. i sent one calm message on instagram and another on whatsapp basically saying i understood if she didn’t want to talk. both got ignored.
out of every breakup and reconnection we’ve had this one feels the hardest and most confusing by far. her actions say distance and moving on but emotionally none of this feels neutral either.
part of me feels like i should leave her alone forever now. another part of me still wants to send flowers and write one honest final note someday either to finally close the chapter for myself or maybe reconnect one last time.
does this sound like someone who’s fully emotionally done for good or someone trying hard to detach while still having unresolved feelings?
Last updated on:2026-05-21T17:53:12+05:30
Comments (4)
my ex kept leaving tiny doors open too, no full block, emotional calls, mixed signals, then suddenly someone new appeared.
i think both things can be true. she probably DOES have unresolved feelings, but she’s still choosing distance.
when you picture sending the flowers and note, do you feel more hopeful about reconnecting or more desperate for one clear answer so your brain can finally rest?
If she slept with someone else after breaking up with you. It’s over. I’m sorry to say you need to move on.