I'm probably the worst person to even be on this app at the moment as a lot of you are dealing with breakups, situationships etc. And although I know everyone suffers in a different way from different situations I've literally been the villain in mine. I'm 22 years old (female) and I slept with my 38 year old (male) coworker that a) is basically my boss, and b) is married with 3 kids, and to add onto that we slept together 12 days before his wife gave birth..... I'm literally a horrible person for knowingly sleeping with this man, and now I'm obviously hurting because he is done with me, he got what he wanted. I'm left with a horrible hole in my heart after he was acting like a boyfriend/someone who loved me the whole year leading up to this. I know I'm a POS for what I did to that woman and I can never forgive myself for it. I don't deserve to get over him, I feel like the guilt should eat me alive. I just wanted to put this out there but I'm not expecting any sympathy or positive comments. If anything I actually think negative comments would bring me down to life and show me genuinely what I did
Last updated on:2026-05-30T03:34:11+05:30
Comments (7)
when i got involved with someone way older who knew EXACTLY how to make me feel chosen and special while hiding a whole other life from me. the guilt after it ended almost swallowed me whole, but looking back now, he was the grown married man with kids and power over me at work. both things can be true at once.
first of all , dont be too harsh on urself.May be he projected himself like a victim just to trap you.whatever happened happen in the past, learn from.this and move on.just close this chapter of yours and move on.For that ex bf, he wont stop here , he will keep finding next target which he can use ...but dont worry one day he will pay for this...Such people are really insecure and their heart is never at peace.
i’m not gonna pretend what happened was okay, but i also don’t think hating yourself forever fixes anything.
Hey. You are most certainly, without a doubt, NOT. THE VILLAIN.
Now that I got that out of the way, I'm so sorry for what happened to you! I do genuinely hope you feel better. As far as the guilt is concerned... At the end of the day, you seem like you genuinely loved him, and he seems like he took advantage of that. You didn't do anything to that woman -- it's his relationship that he chose to potentially sabatoge by being intimate with you.
Keep your head up. You deserve happiness.
I don't even know what to say. I feel like it's my fault because I allowed him to get intimate with me, to cheat on his wife. I know he has done if before with other women but it makes me feel sick to my stomach that I was one of them. but I would have done anything for that man, took extra unpaid shifts to cover him, did most of his work, took the blame for various problems in work and personal, brought in food and his favourite snacks when he was feeling low, got him a promotion by talking him up to a close friend, stayed with him and helped through some family problems/medical procedures. defended him anytime someone even said once bad word and cut contact with people whi disliked him. I just kept giving and giving to make his life easier and happier. i had really thought he thought of me differently
during that whole year before you slept together, was he making you feel like his marriage was already dead or like you were “different” from everyone else? because older men in those situations really know how to build emotional dependency before anything physical even happens.
Yes!! he kept criticising his wife and kids, saying how much of a chore it is to stay with them. often found excuses to stay back at work with me rather than go home. he texted me the entire time even at family days and trips etc. he said I was the only one that understood him. we both shared the same chilhood trauma and I consolidated him a lot about it. even staff noticed the connection between us. this might sound stupid but everyone calls him by his shorten version of his name and he gets mad when anyone says his full name even his boss. I was the only one he allowed to use his full name. i really thought I was different