My ex , and I broke up about three weeks ago. this is the fourth time we've broken up in fourteen months as he is an avoidant , and pushes people away when he has stresses in his life. he broke no contact yesterday and called And I suggested meeting for some food tonight to clear the air. he told me all the same things that he's not ready for a relationship that he wants to see what else the world has to offer etc etc. when he dropped me back, I said Goodbye, and then he tried to keep the door ajar again by saying it doesn't have to be like that. I just need a bit of space. Let's just take some time.
But I can't keep hanging onto somebody who isn't sure about me. So I just sent him a message.Thanking him for our time together and that it's time to call it. i never thought that I would have the strength to do that. And at the moment , I feel okay. it doesn't feel good to be with somebody who isn't sure about you and I deserve better.
So today I start the 30 days properly.He hasn't responded to my message , so I guess that's that.
Last updated on:2026-07-03T14:27:41+05:30
Comments (11)
Aboda
if someone keeps saying they're unsure, i have to believe them instead of waiting for them to become certain. you deserve someone who doesn't need convincing.
Totally true. it just took me some time to figure this out. Im going to talke 30 days for me and then take my wisdom into whatever is next. 😁
im so proud of you. He's proven time and time again he isn't willing to do the work. He says he will do better, but still hasn't proven that he has. Time to choose yourself. You deserve better
Thankyou. I'm proud of me too. I kept it classy and have no regrets. 🥰
i hope you feel proud of yourself for having the strength to realize you deserve better and are done with the cycle. like you said it is going to be tough, but I think having that realization is pivotal. you’ve got this!
Thankyou. I really appreciate your kind words 🫶
i had an ex who kept asking for "just a little more time," and i stayed on that merry-go-round way too long. the day i finally chose myself over the hope of "maybe," it hurt, but i finally started to breathe again.
I love hearing this. its hard walking away from someone you love, especially when you know you can just go around again. at some point the pain isn't worth the sprinkling of good times.
i'm proud of you for sending that message. do you think this is the first time you've truly chosen your own peace over the relationship
Thanks. yeah it is. I know its going to hurt so bad. We have actually had a really lovely relationship in between his deactivation, but I can't keep putting myself through it. it hurts too much when it happens. He totally shuts down and goes cold for weeks. Then he comes back promising it won't happen again and I'm worth fighting for. its a roller coaster.