It's been two weeks since my ex broke up with me out of nowhere. We did long distance for three whole years. We've been together for 4 ½ years. The week before he would officially move in with me in our apartment we decided to have a special goodbye-time at his old place. I went there, we planned the whole week, went for a walk at the beach and out of a sudden he told me that he wants to live on his own now and that he had a voice in his head for quite some time that told him that he should focus on himself for now. He isn't planning on moving back to our place. instead he's going to move back home. My heart broke in a million pieces and I still can't realise what happend. He was supposed to be the father of my kids, we wanted to travel the world together...but now I'm lost. and I don't even hate him. We've seen each other since the breakup two times...and both times it felt like always. we talked, laughed, I cried a lot, we had sex and we watched some reels before going to bed. Now we're in no contact since Saturday - it was his decision. I know that he's going on a big holiday with a friend in a couple of days. I just can't understand what happened and how he could so something like this. I love him with all my heart and soul. and it hurts so much
Last updated on:2026-07-11T17:48:13+05:30
Comments (5)
Nobody stops loving someone overnight. You deserved to know what was going on, and he should have shown consideration for the time you spent together. You deserved to know what happened. When someone starts doubting whether they love you or whether they should stay with you, that is the moment they stop deserving you. You need someone who truly wants to be with you and is certain about choosing you.I know it wasn’t the best way for things to end, but maybe it was better for it to happen now rather than after you had already moved in together, gotten engaged, or even married. I was with my ex for two years, and we lived together for six months. Then he moved back to his family’s house. He had talked about having a future together and even mentioned getting married, but in the end, he wasn’t sure about me. Even though he left me with so many unanswered questions, time eventually brings clarity, and little by little, you receive the answers you need. I missed him so much, and it hurt deeply. It’s incredibly difficult to forget someone you’ve shared your life and home with, but we are stronger than we think, and with time, everything heals. Life or God, knows why it removes certain people from our lives. Maybe there’s something you don’t know yet, and it’s protecting you from it. Rejection is protection or redirection. You are worthy of so much. You deserve someone who makes you feel safe, secure, and chooses to stay with you without hesitation. Be patient with yourself. Everything will get better. I promise you are stronger than you think, and you will be okay. ❤️🩹
i could just keep seeing my ex, maybe we'd find our way back. having sex and laughing together kept me hanging on way longer than i needed.
i keep coming back to one thing. when he said he wanted to focus on himself, did he ever actually tell you what changed, or are you still trying to fill in all the blanks by yourself?
he didn't tell what changed. Just that he made this decision on his own and that he feels like he has to do it now. I'm afraid that he feels some kind of relief now that it's over. But I most certainly don't know why he felt that he couldn't figure out who he is with me in his life.
had a future planned down to the smallest details too, then it was just... gone in one conversation. the part where everything still felt normal when you saw him again would have completely messed with my head too