me and my ex have different attachment styles. Just now 2 days after our break up I can se how this two conflicted each other with wanting space and the other needing reassurance. I will try to show her that I accept her disicion, keep distans and stay quit and don't send her text messages that fuels her need to be alone even more. I wonder if it would be different if I can self soothe without needing reassurance from my partner if I could teach myself to have a secure attachment styles and what that would do to me and my ex in the future. what do you think?
Last updated on:2026-08-04T08:27:04+05:30
Comments (16)
It is possible to workout if both people realize their patterns. I am secure, but have anxious tendency and it is hard to control this sometimes. If ur partner wanna do the work together it will workout even though it takes patience and time. But, the easiest is hea yourself first before reacting ^^
that first few days after a breakup are brutal because your brain is still reaching for the person who used to calm everything down. i was the anxious one too, and learning to sit with that panic helped me stop chasing someone who needed space.
He didn't block me but he disrespect me if he don't want this relationship then why not he choose to block me why he want to see me in this state 🙂
maby it's a way for him to show that he care
@SweetAir560 When i cried whole night where was his care?
i spent so much time thinking “if i could just become easier to love, maybe they’d stay,” but i had to learn that my needs mattered too. giving space can be loving, but don’t forget to be kind to yourself in the silence.
yeah I feel you! I really need to learn that
me and my ex boyfriend basically broke up 6 days ago cause he needs space and i need more attention and he couldnt give it to me
sad but I totally recognise it đź’•
me too, and he said that he wasnt good enough for me.
You need to heal your anxious attachment styles. You need to figure out the source. A lot of the times it stems from our childhood or our relationship with our parents
do you have any advise on how to tackle it?
avoidant and anxious?
yeah and this was her first relationship
when you both had those moments where she needed distance and you needed reassurance, did you two ever talk about what each of you needed in those moments
yes we did. but it was fine over 2-3 months but then cuz we never repaired or changed how we invidualy can change and reassure each other in those time we fell right back to the same old pattern