my avoidant ex and i have barely spoken in the last three months. there was one weekend in the middle where he reached out for my birthday and we ended up talking nonstop texting and calling and he even said his life hadn’t been the same since we broke up.
but then we ran into each other twice in one day on a bike trail we both love. he knew i’d be there and still chose to go. we made small talk i tried to keep the conversation going just something light but he shut it down. since then it’s been silence again.
i keep wondering if seeing me made him change his mind. everything felt normal when we talked before like nothing had really changed. he even said he missed me and that the door wasn’t fully closed. i just don’t get it and it hurts so much. 😔💔
Last updated on:2026-04-23T00:34:03+05:30
Comments (7)
he’s someone who can show up consistently for you, or does it always swing like this?
I did my hair today I feel so good after doing something for myself... I'm on day 12 not looking back as hard as it is.
Ran into my ex in public recently as well. The time a part made me realize she wasn’t good for me and that there’s no point in making small talk when running into each other. I gave her a lot of chances before but I realized that’s just who she is so there’s no point.
Typically relationships, end for a reason, but it’s not to say there isn’t remorse or pain surrounding the separation. Sometimes the process of the break up isn’t always clean and like this situation some contact is maintain afterward to alleviate some of the pain of separating despite one or both parties trying to move on and move forward.
keep your head up, keep moving forward, and know you're not alone friend ❤️
i dated someone avoidant too and she come back soft over text then go cold in person like i imagined it all.
I've been caught up on little signs and signals, but it just ends up hurting more. It's best for your own wellbeing to just focus on yourself and let things happen with time. Something in his own life is keeping him from committing, and that's not in your power to change.
People often treat avoidants like villains, but he's hurting. Give him space, set a boundary. If he won't take the space himself to heal, he needs to understand that he's just causing you needless pain.