a few years ago i developed really strong feelings for a coworker who was married at the time. i never crossed any lines or acted on it but i think she knew. i also knew deep down that she wasn’t happy in her marriage. eventually we had a falling out i left that job and life pulled us in different directions. she even moved out of state.
now it’s been about four years and her marriage has completely fallen apart. from what i’ve seen and heard she’s struggling badly. she openly posts about substance use talks about selling content online getting cosmetic surgery and honestly just seems lost. people who still know her say she’s become a wreck lately.
the hardest part is that i still care about her deeply. when i look at her now i don’t just see bad decisions i see someone hurting and spiraling. i know about her past her family struggles the things she’s carried for years and i can’t shake the feeling that she’s headed down a really dark path.
part of me wants to reach out so badly but another part knows she’s moved on and i probably need to too. i just don’t know how. deep down i still feel like we were meant to find each other somehow. maybe it’s a savior complex maybe it’s unresolved feelings i honestly don’t know anymore. i just know that if something terrible happened to her i’d feel like i should’ve done something while i still could.
Last updated on:2026-05-13T19:58:11+05:30
Comments (4)
you think part of you is grieving the version of her you knew back then, before everything started falling apart
i once spent years worrying about someone i loved from a distance and convincing myself i could somehow save her if i just cared hard enough. it’s such a painful mix of love, guilt, and helplessness
keep your head up, keep moving forward, and know you're not alone friend ❤️
In my opinion you could reach out if you want, but you need to understand that it’s not your job to save her, and that reconnecting in any way right now will likely be emotionally loaded just because it sounds like she’s carrying a lot of baggage. Best of luck, follow your heart 🤍