you think 60+ days without talking to him, I would be feeling better but I’m not I went to a concert tonight and listened to our song and missed him every second of it, I keep stalking the socials and can’t stop but I also keep seeing him everywhere idk if he’s doing that on purpose or what, but I called him with no caller id and my phone muted because I just wanted to hear his voice i missed him a lot cuz I’ve not done that since no contact, I heard his voice and had a panic attack he said through the phone stop calling I’ve got to be up for work in a couple hours and don’t be a coward with your id off so idk he maybe knew it was me but I just want my sweet boy back not the guy he’d been hiding behind the mask idk how he hasn’t been missing me that much to contact me like 2+ years meant nothing
Last updated on:2026-06-30T22:08:12+05:30
Comments (5)
i had to stop feeding myself tiny hits of them. no checking socials, no “just one look”, no calling from unknown numbers. every time i broke it, my body went right back to panic mode like it never left
This hits deeply. I was with my ex for 3 years, 8 months of living together after the break up, giving him a year to come back to me while he just bread crumbed. This year, as painful as it was, I blocked him. Only saw him once this year, and got a text message late at 1am on a Monday, but thats it. I miss him deeply, i want him back. I feel that, "I want my sweet boy back, not the guy he'd been hiding behind the mask." Literally, the same situation. I'm not going to tell you how to deal with things, because we all have our ways of coping, and when that time comes for you, you will choose to do whats best for you because you won't want to feel like this anymore, atleast thats how I've worked it out for myself. The best advice I can give you however, and truly, is choose yourself. I say this even on days when all I want to do is run to him and feel safe again, but even with that, I choose myself. Its a long process, grief doesn't have a time limit. Feel how you feel, dont let anyone tell you other wise, and when you have that moment, because trust me love you will, you will know its time to transition from who you were to who you are now, who you are becoming. I wish you all the light and love in the world, in all of your abundance. You CAN overcome.
this hurt to read. 60 days and still feeling like this is such a brutal place to be in. i’ve been there, replaying songs that used to feel like “ours” and then hating myself for doing it and still doing it anyway.
there is no might about it. lol
did he used to pull away like this before, or was the “mask” thing something that showed up only after the breakup?