not even really sure i should write about this but how do you deal with no contact when your entire relationship was filled with emotional abuse and being controlled? he repeated his same old pattern a few days ago, ive not even been no contact an hour and I still feel like I have to fix it, like I have to run to him, like ive done something wrong. I know what hes done and how hes treated me but im so alone, I havent had friends for the last 9 years since I got with him. ive been to police before and domestic abuse teams but that ended in me giving up and going back. how do you build a support network when you literally have no one? how do you stay no contact? how do I even begin to do it?
Last updated on:2026-07-13T02:32:53+05:30
Comments (8)
ive been going through the exact seem thing. together for 8 1/2 years. found out he cheated and we live together. we also had domestic violence. police involved. restraining orders. we been through it all. hes also cheated and left me for others several times and each time. I beg him back and apologize and believe that it was my fault ..... even now. he moved out yesterday. my life completely fell apart when he left. even though I know he cheated and lied .... i MISS HIM. he was my everything. he cheated on me with someone he works with. how could he jump from a almost 9 year relationship right to someone else?? he never said he was unhappy snd promised he was not cheating. even told me I was insecure and crazy.. smh. this is day 1 of no contact
I understand what you’re going through. I got out and I’m still I miss them. I had to block them as they kept bothering me but never giving anything concrete and just playing with my emotions. I have no one directly to help me. it’s hard very hard. the last couple of days I’ve been sad and angry. please try to stay away I know being all alone sucks but it’s abuse. I’m doing it and it hurts like hell but I have to think it will be for the best. I mean in the relationship I was miserable as well. now no one to talk to but please take it as kicking off drugs. you can message here.
i'm so sorry you're carrying this alone. when you say you feel like you have to fix it, is it because he's already trying to pull you back in, or is that feeling coming from inside you even with no contact?
No No Nio! please do not run back to him for comfort and the small amount of love that he is throwing your way. Try to follow the steps available in this material. When dealing with a abuser each time you go back makes him more powerful over you. it is not safe to return. please take the time to research what happens when partners keep returning to the same abusive partner. Good luck and feel the strength inside of yourself when you finally say no to this man.
That's really brave of you to make that decision and make a change. Are there some support groups in your area where you can connect with others in your situation? I find volunteering or taking a class is also another great way to meet people with similar interests. I would even teach out to old friends and explain why you haven't been in touch.You may be surprised who out there has been missing your friendship. please stay safe
i left someone like that more than once, and every time i made it an hour i convinced myself i was the problem. that pull is so real.
therapy
stay close to god