This is just a vent post but definitely feel free to comment or share. I’m honestly feeling a lot happier than I was in May. I miss her a lot as a person not a partner. I mean she was my best friend. Her presence and her leaving my life taught me that I’m no longer a kid and that it’s time to become a man. I remember that we had a pregnancy scare and it prompted me to do whatever I could to make sure her and my “child” would be safe. I took the harsh words of her family and handled it with maturity. I made sure to keep track of her cycle and made it easier for her by doing my best to support and buying essentials and snacks. I made sure that I even included that with her family by paying for things and showing them respect and kindness. I know that I’m not a good young man but I only do what I know. I had no parents so I honestly have a hard time trying to put away my pride as it’s a defense mechanism for my insecurity. She had everything from a wealthy family and supportive friends. She didn’t need me as much as I needed her. I made the mistake of coming to the conclusion that I could make no mistake. That warranted me to acknowledge her shortcomings but overall ignore/sugarcoat my own. I feel like I failed. I thought that she was going to be the mother of my children and of course my wife. Maybe I just lived in that fantasy because of how much love I craved deep down. All I can do is understand what I did wrong and do better. I know I can and will be better. As a perfectionist, I have to understand that I too make mistakes and I also am not perfect. I feel like that’s what she was trying to get me to see this entire time but I was too proud. Now I’m suffering the consequences of my own choices. I need to be single for awhile because I refuse to put another woman through this. I want to be the best man I can be. As Michael Jackson famously stated, “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change.” It all starts with the man in the mirror.
Last updated on:2026-07-20T21:02:11+05:30
Comments (6)
when you say she didn’t need you as much as you needed her, do you think that came from how the relationship actually was, or from that deep craving for love and family you mentioned?
i really respect the part where you can look at your own mistakes without turning yourself into the villain.
i grew up without much guidance too, and when i finally found someone who felt like home, i built my whole future around her. losing that dream hurt as much as losing the person.
I applaud your personal accountability and growth.
what a beautiful post and I am so proud of you for looking within. Life is for learning and we should never stop looking at ourselves and wanting to handle things in a better way. We never stop making mistakes but having the maturity to take something from them is a rare gift.
you need to read the self help articles on this website. about relationship patterns. it will explain so much.